SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE JUMPING -- lance

[addison sophia breslin]

Things had been happening way too fast for Kennedy these past few weeks, or maybe a month had gone by and it had only felt like a few weeks. She had randomly kept bumping into Rodney around the city as though god or whoever up above just wanted to play some sick and twisted game to make her suffer, but if that wasn't enough she had been unfortunate to see Lance around a lot also. She couldn't even go to the park without seeing him messing around with his old friends she used to associate with back in high school, her son had been disappointed the many times Kenn would bring him to the park just to leave the moment her son had started to play just because she had caught a glimpse of Lance. She was sure that he hadn't seen her around since she did a good job hiding, though most strangers would probably think she was insane when randomly she'd dive behind a tree or even trashcan to get out of his sight.

Since that night where she was about to sit down and have dinner with him and their son and he had to leave, some phonecall had gotten him up out the door in a matter of minutes, she just did not want to talk to him at all. The phonecall had been from Rachel, she was sure of it when in reality she had no idea who had been on the other end of the line that had gotten out the door that fast. Kennedy was good at jumping to conclusions though and this had been just another one of them, and since that night she has not been able to even sleep that good knowing that Lance should have been there. He shouldn't have left like that, she was warming up to having him around the house and even her son had been enjoying having another person in the home to play with. "Just like him, always leaving." Kennedy muttered as she drove up to the quarry and parked her car. There had been no other cars in the field so she knew she would be alone, so she stumbled from the drivers seat as she made her way towards the edge to look down at the water below. Her son tonight had been at his aunts house, her aunt wanting Kenn to get out and enjoy herself some nights. Her reasoning, you only live once and she felt Kennedy barely lived at all outside of the home. She hated not having her son at her home overnight but her aunt insisted and when that happened there was no arguing with that stubborn woman.

She looked down at her outfit, a pair of black short shorts that rose almost entirely up her thigh, and a white button up shirt that she had stolen from her mothers closet. It had been her mothers that she wore to bed everynight before she died, Kenn felt so comfortable wearing it that she found herself putting it on whenever she wanted to be close to her mother. She had a black bikini underneath, the black top showing through the thin white overshirt. The way her shorts fit against her hips the strings from either side of her bikini bottom were visible tied in a neat bow and knot. Jumping from the quarry was not as drastic as others thought it to be, she had done it once on a dare and had loved the thrill she had gotten as she fell. Tonight still she had been unsure if she were going to jump or just stand at the top looking down at the peaceful man-made oasis. Not wanting to get her mothers shirt dirty when she decided to sit down Kennedy unbuttoned it and hung it beside her on a branch from the nearby old oak tree that situated itself just at the peak of the quarry. She watched as the shirt started dancing in the breeze and Kenn just smiled almost imagining her mother in it moving around at quite a beautiful rhythm. Kennedy had been entranced as she sat down against the somewhat damn dirt and grass underneath her, and she picked her knees up so she could rest her head on them and just sit there admiring that shirt.

[lance warren wright]

Lance had regretted that he had left so abruptly that night with Kennedy. He hadn't heard from her since and figured he would let her have some space but he really wanted to see her. He had truly missed her and Ryan though every time he tried to go over and see her she never seemed to be there. It was as if she was avoiding him which he wouldn't put past her. He knew he should have explained who had been on the phone and why he had had to go. For all he knew she could have thought it had been Rachel. He knew he needed to set the record straight. Lance knew that Kennedy let Ryan stay at his aunt's every once in a while. So he figured he could try and call her aunt and see if Ryan was there. If so he knew Kennedy would be alone and they would finally get a chance to talk which they definitely needed to do. Lance had gotten a job at the music label he is an assistant to one of the producers and this helps him get his own demos out.

He knew that with this job he would be able to support Ryan and Kennedy and hopefully take some load off of Kennedy's shoulders. He knew she worked too much and he hoped she wouldn't have to work as much and would be able to have more time at home if she wanted. He tried calling her cell a few times but got no answer. He hadn't expected her to answer so it wasn't a surprise to him. He hopped in his car wearing basketball shorts and a simple black tshirt. He started to drive around town looking for Kennedy's car. He pulled out his phone and called information to get a hold of Kennedy's aunt once he did he talked to her for a few minutes and found that Ryan was indeed with her. He knew now that it would be perfect to find Kennedy because they could finally get that one on one time they most definitely needed. Lance wanted her to know of his plans for the future so he could compare them with her.

He knew she would probably be upset with him for the night he walked out but he would easily be able to explain that to her. His brother had needed to get to the doctor because of his recent accident from war he had been feeling some pain in his lower back and he couldn't drive himself. So Lance had no problem helping him out even if they really didn't talk too much lately. He hoped Kennedy would understand the abruptness. He knew he probably could have handled it better but that was just Lance. He always did something wrong around her. He had been driving around for about an hour now checking just about every place in Pleasant that he could think of. He was determined to find her and he wasn't going to rest until he had.

He finally thought of some of the places they had gone too when they had been 'together'. He remembered the quarry where she had been dared to jump off at. He wasn't sure why she would be there but he could at least check it out. As he pulled into the teen made parking lot he saw her car. A smile came to his face for a moment at the thought of seeing her. He parked his car next to hers and hopped out locking his doors. He started to walk up to where he saw the footsteps in the dirt led to. He found Kennedy sitting there looking as gorgeous as ever. He felt his stomach drop as he stopped for a moment to calm his racing heart. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before reopening them and reassuring himself as he continued to take some more steps toward. "Hey Kenn...," he said softly as he used her common nickname everyone used back in high school if they were close to her. He stood a few steps away not going to sit next to her just yet. He didn't know how she was going to react so he would stay standing for the moment.

[addison sophia breslin]

Kennedy was deep in thought remembering her mother and didn't even hear another vehicle pull up next to hers. She couldn't even hear the footsteps that were coming closer to her as she just watched that shirt. Her thoughts were abruptly cut short when she heard a mans voice from behind her, instantly she had known that man had been Lance. What had he been doing here? How had he found her? Was he even looking for her? Her mind clouded as so many questions came swarming in, and before she could react he'd stepped closer to where she had been sitting on the ground. She sat up straight letting her knees drop back to the ground as her entire body had stiffened beneath her. That brought her thoughts back to the shirt that had been on the branch, her body having been too exposed for her liking around Lance. She felt very uncomfortable as she looked down at herself, and brought her sight back up to him standing there above her. She had to cover herself, she probably hadn't looked as good to him as she had before she'd gotten pregnant. Sure the usual stretchmarks from pregnancy had vanished and she was down to her original size, but still she just felt entirely too nervous to keep her composure without that shirt back on.

She rose from her spot on the ground, her sandals clicking as she moved quick to the tree to grab the shirt from the branch pulling it around her slipping her arms into the sleeves. She wrapped the shirt tight around her as her long slightly curly blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders as she turned back to face him. "What are you doing here?" She snapped, startled and nervous being the two main reasons her voice had been harsh. There had been nothing to hide behind since he had been the one to spot her first, she was forced to stand here and endure his time alone. She didn't have Ryan to hide behind as she could simply ignore Lance when her son was there, now it had just been the two of them privately alone at the quarry. Part of her had wanted some alone time with him so they could finally just talk like they should, or at least discuss things more than they had the night at the hotel. She loosened the shirt so she could start buttoning it back up, no need holding onto it the entire time. She started with the bottom buttons and worked her way up, her attention planted on each button seperately as she made sure to button them in the right holes.

She stopped buttoning just above her chest as she looked back at him, her arms crossing again infront of her as she just watched him for a minute. "What are you doing here?" She asked again, not having heard him if he had answered her the first time around. She had been much more focused on making sure her body was covered up, this being around the time that she wished she had pants on or something to hide her legs. "I mean, I know it's a public place and all and you could have just came up here for a swim or something, I guess I don't need to know why you're here." She said answering her own question as she turned from him to sit back down on the ground. She did not want to get her mothers shirt dirty still though so she pulled it up some unbuttoning a few of the bottom buttons so she could tie the loose fabric infront of her against her stomach. She sat down feeling better knowing that her shirt had not been touching the ground, the last thing she needed was a stain on her mothers favorite shirt. She looked back out at the quarry wondering if he'd left from his spot behind her or not yet, if he had came up here for any other reason than to talk to her he could go on her way and she wouldn't bother him. She could sit here quietly and if things got too ackward she could just leave and find another spot.

"I'll only be here for a little while anyway, I have to get home so the babysitter can leave. She has plans tonight," Kenn said for the fact that she hadn't heard him leave so she thought he'd probably still been there. She had been lying, there had been no babysitter, but it seemed a good excuse for her to get out of whatever the two were going to discuss or whatever. She hadn't a clue he had called her aunt, him and that woman having got along in the past when she had introduced them once or twice back during high school at the sporting events when she gave him congrats.

[lance warren wright]

He shied back from her harshness at first. He started to think this was probably a bad idea, but it's not like she would have answered the phone if he had called in fact he had proof she wouldn't have. Lance always felt he had to take initiative if he wanted to stay in her and Ryan's life. "I know i'm probably the last person you want to see right now but I mean....we need to talk I guess is what i'm trying to say.." He said losing confidence with every word he spoke. The last word trailed off almost becoming inaudible to her. She was indeed intimidating to him. He wanted to be perfect around her but he never could pull that off. He noticed how uncomfortable she had been with her body around him. He wished he could tell her it looked just as good if not better than it had when they had been back in high school. There were so many words he wished he could say to her that he didn't because he was afraid of what she would say. He wished he could be his usual forward self around her but he couldn't. He had to reserve his feelings and thoughts around her as not to upset her.

Especially after her harshness it shot down just about every bit of confidence he had been able to muster up in sight of her. As she asked the question again he figured she must not have heard him or not cared at the moment to listen. "I tried calling but....uh yeah you didn't pick up so I went looking and here I am..." He said letting his arms lift and then drop to his sides as if to show himself as a presence in that moment. As she went on to answer her own question he stood there silently. "I think we should talk you know...since Ryan isn't around I have felt we have needed to talk just one on one for a while but getting a hold of you has been hard...." He also went on to explain about the night he had left so abruptly, "And about the night I had gotten that phone call and left...i'm really sorry about not explaining who had called or why I was leaving. It was really rude of me. It had been my brother he's only been back from war for a few months and he needed to go see a doctor because he had been feeling strong pain in his back and he couldn't drive....but i'm guessing you probably don't care...." He said quietly as he let his eyes drop to the ground.

In her presence he felt like a little child that couldn't say anything right and was always getting in trouble. He started to get frustrated but held it in as he clenched his fists. He couldn't get angry not with her or him he needed to remain calm to get the best out of her as he could. He wasn't going to leave until they spoke about the matters at hand. They couldn't go around just ignoring each other while they had a son together. They needed to at least get back to a friendly level if they ever reached a romantic level was optional. He would love to get back in a relationship with her but that wasn't up to him at this point. He nodded as she said she wouldn't be there long. He figured she probably had some friends to go hang out with or something else to do. Though as she went on and say something about a babysitter it upset him. She would use their son as a lie to get away from him, "You know it's okay to just say you don't want to see me. I know Ryan's with your aunt. I called her to see if she knew where you were because i've been out looking for you for about an hour now. I've learned calling you is obviously not the best way of finding you anymore." He said not being able to contain his frustration. He was being strained to hold in his emotions there was so much throwing around within him. He didn't move any closer to her because he couldn't find himself to do it. He couldn't even look at her right now so he let his gaze go out to the sky.

[addison sophia breslin]

When Kenn had heard him say the two needed to talk she couldn't agree more. She felt the two needed to talk, to really talk about everything, and she wouldn't have to hold back her words like she had last time at the hotel. She had felt weird last time the two talked alone because he had still been with Rachel, no matter what the two talked about her thoughts were far too consumed with Rachel and what she would think if the two had even been together. It didn't matter that they were doing nothing more than talking, they had not gotten intimate in anyway, but still that woman would find a way to turn it around and make it look like Kenn had been doing whatever in her powers to get him back. That seemed to be Rachel's arguement each and every time the two had seen each other, even if it had been somewhat true the fact of the matter had been that Kenn couldn't stand when Rachel said things like that to her.

When he had said that he had tried calling Kenn had known that, the phone had rang so many times on the passanger seat and each time she read the caller ID she ignored the call. She just felt that talking to him over the phone wasn't good enough, she wanted to see him in person no matter how much her mind and body had told her that it shouldn't be that way. She knew that when around him she did things she wouldn't usually do, Lance had that way about things that made it just so easy to change into the person she knew she could be. He had seen the real Kenn, not just the one that everyone around school witnessed on a daily basis. When he had also said that he called her aunt she was dumbfounded, he had caught her in a lie and that made her feel terrible. She couldn't believe that she had said something like that to him, use their own child in that ultimate lie that he had known was nowhere near the truth. "Oh," She finally said something after he said he'd been looking for an hour, and her aunt was his last option in hopes of finding her.

"In that case I guess i'm not going anywhere for a while," She told him looking up for one a moment before she let her knees come back up so her head could lean against them, her face turned towards where he'd been standing. She wanted to at least be able to see him when he sat down to talk to her, he had such a gorgeous face and every feature of his seemed, well for lack of better words perfect. He looked just as she remembered him to back in high school, if anything he had been more toned and that was definitely an accomplishment because he'd been so beautiful already. She let out a soft inaudible sigh as her mind wandered over him, she shouldn't be thinking about him in that sense at all but she couldn't help it. "You going to sit down?" She asked softly as her hand brushed some hair that had fallen into her face back behind her ear as she watched him. "Where should we start?" She asked just as soft as she looked at him. She wasn't going to fight tonight, at least not until she felt she needed to put her defenses back up. Tonight would be the night to reflect and work things out, see which direction they are going ahead, and see where it falls that they'll be in each others lives. She couldn't keep avoiding him, Lance was going to be around no matter what.

[lance warren wright]

He watched as she sat in silence. Hopefully she would have more to say as they started to discuss what they needed to about their futures. As he caught her in the lie he saw how embarrassed she had become. He felt like he had the upper hand for once in the entire time he had been back in town. Though of course it wasn't something he would say out loud because that would just be acting like an asshole. The feeling of the upper hand faded though as he was brought back to feeling like he shouldn't be there. He had been so confident while he had been driving around trying to find her. He was going to tell her how he still felt for her and how he wanted to try and make things work. Though at the sight of her that confidence was gone and replaced with fear. She scared the shit out of him and she didn't even know it.

He rolled his eyes but he made sure she didn't see him do it. He rolled his head back and said loudly, "Please don't stay on my account I wouldn't want to burden you with my presence." He said with a smart ass tone. He knew that wasn't going to help the situation but he wasn't going to be pushed around by her anymore. He was tired of being stepped on. Yes he had fucked up but he had admitted to it many a times. He had said sorry multiple times and he was trying to make things right. He was pretty sure she could let up on all the harshness towards him. I mean he could point out that she was just ignoring him and not letting him get back in their lives. He was pretty sure he planned on doing just that because she would give him shit about not being around yet she wouldn't let him be around. There wasn't much he could do about that. He wanted her to want him around.

He wished she would say that to him but he knew she was stubborn. He knew getting something like that out of her would be like pulling teeth. It was useless and stupid. As she offered him to sit down he thought of just being a jackass and standing but then he figured he should calm down. He took a deep breath before shrugging his shoulders and go and sit down next to her. He made sure to left a lot of space between them. She had made it aware that she didn't want to be around him right now so physical touch might make things worse. He let one leg lay straight out in the dirt and the other was pulled up as he lay one arm across it. "Where should we start...," he said quietly repeating her question. He chuckled softly as he looked out at the nights sky, "Let's rephrase that if you don't mind..." He said rolling his head to the side as he looked at her and cocked an eyebrow, "Where do you want to start?" He was gonna leave the decision making up to her so he couldn't get blamed for anything.

[addison sophia breslin]

Kennedy expected him to jump down her throat, he had done it the last time the two had been together at the hotel, but still it shocked her some as she brought her attention to him for a minute. "Look," She started as she stood up to face him, her sandals being left behind still on the ground as she stood barefoot. "I didn't come up here tonight to get bitched at Lance," She started hearing her own tone start to raise as she just watched him. "If this is how tonight is going to play out i'm going to get in my car and leave now. You wonder why I don't answer my phone," She let out a sigh knowing that she should not let him get the best of her tonight, so she quietly tucked her hair behind her ears as she turned away from him and sat back down on the ground curling up in the ball she had been in before.

Kenn was very quick tempered as of lately with everything that had been going down. Rodney had been back and that did not go well, she pretty much got told to get bent and she never would have thought he'd treat her like that. What made matters worse had been Lance had came back to town around the same time leaving her utterly shocked. God or whoever had been watching from above thought they should play some sick and twisted game on her, and it turned out that she just couldn't handle all of the pressure. She was so good at holding her own and staying strong, but lately she could feel herself cracking from all of the pressure. She looked at him for another moment before quickly turning away. "I'm sorry, I just have had a lot going on lately. This is one of the only free nights I have and I don't want to have to spend it fighting with someone, especially you." She told him not managing to look at him the entire time she had been speaking.

She watched him finally sit thankful that her words had not turned him away, the two did need to talk. She did notice the distance and cracked a quick smile glancing at him. "What, afraid to get too close?" She asked softly. The two had no problem being close back in the day when they had been 'together', and now how far they were away from each other tonight was the closest they had been in some time. The night at the hotel hadn't counted to her, it had consisted of just fighting and then her having to go to the hospital for a headwound. Definitely not something that she wanted to remember, though he had been so good to her that night. When he asked where she wanted to begin she just let out a sigh looking at him, her eyes focused and stayed on him since she had missed him. She would not say that outloud though her mind and body had been screaming out. He was a very tempting man no matter what the circumstance, the two would have never done anything together if neither had been attracted to one another, and even now with him aging so beautifully she had been even more attracted.

"I guess you should hear it from me if you don't already know." She said as she kept her eyes focused on him. "Rodney came back not too long ago," She started letting a sigh fall from her lips. "I saw him at the mall. We talked for a little while and I tried to stay civil. He didn't seem to do the same, he pretty much made me feel like a whore before he walked off." She looked away from Lance at the mention of her feeling like a whore. Rodney treating her like that had made her feel terrible, she could never remember a time when he had done something like that to her. He was always the nicest man to her, but obviously since everything that had happened she didn't expect him to be her best friend. "I haven't seen him since, thank god." She said softly. She thought that had been the best thing, she couldn't deal with Rodney right now since she was already having a hell of a time with Lance. "I am sorry, I should not be talking about him right now." She whispered now still trying to get over her own feelings towards herself and Rodney. Lance could care less to hear about him though she thought, so instead she just stayed silent as she stared infront of her. "When it rains it sure does pour for me," She mumbled shaking her head some, her long blonde curls dropping infront of her face so she had been hidden from Lance beside her.

[lance warren wright]

Lance went to open his mouth to retaliate but finally decided he should just grow up and stay quiet. He nodded simply at her statement showing her that he understood. He figured it was time to let the white flag fly between the two. They needed to get down to some serious talking about their future and their son. They had a lot of things to get done and arguing wasn't going to help their progression at all. In fact the arguing between the two have been pushing them farther back and only causing them to work harder. He decided to not speak until her next sentence because he didn't trust himself to say anything positive until he heard her speak again. As she apologized he shook his head, "Don't worry about it I understand...somewhat." He couldn't fully understand where she was coming from because in his mind she did have it harder than he did. "And i'm sorry for the hostile-ness but I guess i've been frustrated that I haven't been able to get a hold of you but I can understand if you've needed space. It is a bit much to say the least." He said showing her that he would sympathize with her. He wasn't always going to be the bad guy.

As he finally saw her crack a smile he grinned. That was one of the first semi genuine smiles he had seen from her in a long time. "I've missed that smile." He said looking at her for a moment before looking back out at the sky. It may have not been an appropriate thing to say at the moment but he sometimes couldn't help himself around her. He chuckled at her comment and shook his head, "Didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." He said simply he always thought about her before himself or at least he was trying to do this now. He was putting her and Ryan before himself because that's the kind of person he had wanted to try and become. He had been doing a poor job at it lately but he hadn't been able to spend much time with them to change this so he was hoping with time it would just happen. He lifted himself up easily and scooted a bit closer. Their legs actually ended up brushing each other for a moment. Lance felt that shock he always got whenever he had physical contact with her. He slowly brought his legs a little further away because he didn't know if that would make her uncomfortable.

He finally let his eyes fall upon her again as she began to speak. As soon as he heard Rodney's name he felt his stomach do a sick twist. He hated that man with a passion. He made Kenn feel like shit half the time by trying to be self righteous it did nothing but piss Lance off. He could see how Rodney was still getting to Kennedy because she felt like anything he said or called her was right. Like the countless times Rodney had called her a whore. Lance felt himself slowly building anger he wanted to beat the crap out of Rodney for doing this to her still. Time had passed it I mean the situation had been bad but usually people grow up and learn to forgive and forget...well to their best abilities anyways. Lance finally decided to say something as she hid her face from him, "I really wish I could say something to help you out. I can tell you you aren't a whore and he is just an asshole for making you feel that way. No matter what had happened in the past if it had happened to me and if he loved you like he said he did he wouldn't make you feel like shit. He might be angry like he had a right to be but people should learn to grow the hell up. He acts like we're still in high school. Ugh..." He groaned as he clenched his fists. He couldn't stand talking about Rodney it just pissed him off. The anger for the man was very evident in Lance's face and attitude. "I want you to be able to talk to me about anything Kennedy i'll help you out the best I can but i'm not gonna lie to you I can't stand Rodney with a passion." He said honestly as he kept his eyes on the blonde.

[addison sophia breslin]

When his leg had brushed hers an electric shock pierced her body as she could feel herself stiffen up holding her breathe for a minute so she could calm herself down. She didn't want to talk about Rodney but thought that it needed to be said, he needed to know everything since he had taken the time to hunt her down so the two could talk. Kennedy felt her arms start to tremble as she held onto her legs bringing her attention to him, her eyes filled with sorrow and disappointment. "No, don't talk about him like that. Just don't." She said, her eyes filling with tears that she could just not hold back. Since having Ryan she had been more emotional than ever before, and especially around Lance her emotions were running high.

She had to clear the air about Rodney as he told her that he had hated him with a passion. "I put him through absolute hell, don't you get it?" She blurted out standing up to get an upper-hand feeling that having the height advantage would work as she spoke to him. "Rachel thinks i'm a fucking whore too and I don't see you hating her any, no instead of hating her you run off to New York just to be with her. You don't care what she thinks about me, and yet you hate the man that truly made me happy before, well you know." She couldn't even bring herself to say what had happened between them, though that had been something major because a child had resulted from it. "Rodney was so good to me," She told him standing over him with her arms at her side. "You have no right saying anything about him what that fucking ex fiancee girlfriend whatever of yours was twice as bad as him." She shrugged as she turned and walked from him wiping tears from her eyes as she came to the edge of the quarry.

She couldn't believe she had just defended Rodney like that after what he had done just days ago to her. She let out a sigh as she dropped herself on the ground burying her head in her hands as her feet dangled over the edge. At this time she felt like she should just jump and plummet into the water, do something / anything that could take her from this moment with Lance. In the short time they had gotten so close and their relationship had gone to the intimate state she had grown such strong feelings for him, sometimes her feelings for Lance surpassing those of Rodney, but still hearing people down one of the best men in her life made her have to stand up for him. Even if he wasn't a good part of it now that didn't matter, he had given her some of the best years and she had messed it up. It had been her fault, she had been the whore afterall. She stayed silent not wanting to holler at him anymore, Lance didn't need that for just telling her how he had felt about the man.

"I hate Rachel so I guess we're even," She said with a shrug feeling the need to say that to him. He had known that she couldn't stand her though, that much was obvious from the many bad things she had to say about that woman. The two had been bumping heads since high school and kenn just couldn't stand it, she hated the fact that Rachel had thought she had been better than her. Whatever, who cares if the girl had made it into the big leagues with a clothing line, did that even matter? Kenn had beat her in the long run, she had gained the respect and admiration from Lance, so no matter what Rachel had under her belt Kennedy had always came out victorious. "Can we just not talk about them, tonight we're supposed to be talking about us remember?" The word us sent chills down her spine as she stood back up brushing her legs off as she went back to sit right beside him, her thoughts being clear once again and the tears being wiped from her face as she let herself have that mini-meltdown. "You can't tell me you drove all over town to find me just so we could fight, if that was the case you're stupid." She said with a slight nervous chuckle, she just wanted to drop the subject of Rodney right now.

[lance warren wright]

Lance looked frustrated as she yelled at him. He didn't like the fact that she was still defending this man that made her feel like shit. Though he could kind of understand why she would do that. Rodney was like his Rachel in a way. They had both been in relationships when they fell for each other...welll really lusted. Though Lance couldn't help but think his lust had turned into something more for the cheerleader. He wouldn't tell her this though because it wouldn't be something she would want to hear. She was a stubborn woman and from what he could see she always had been. He wanted to open his mouth to argue with her but he remembered her previous words of not coming to argue. He shut his mouth as he just stared down at the ground like he was a child being scolded. He had seen the tears that had filled her eyes and he had to feel like an asshole because he had been the one to put them there. He shook his head as he just didn't know what to do anymore.

He couldn't say anything without either causing her to cry which he hated to see happen or piss her off. He looked up at her as she reached the edge. He felt nervous as he didn't know what she was going to do. Sure many people had jumped off that edge before but he didn't want to see her run away from him yet again. He placed his hands on the ground ready to push himself up and jump after her if he had to. He had to show he was 100% committed to her and Ryan because he had been. He had given up Rachel and finally pursued what he should have never stopped pursuing when Ryan was born. "You know there are many things I could say to retaliate to all of that..." He said quietly as he let his eyes linger on her as she sat at the edge, "But I thought we were supposed to be waving the white flag here so i'm just gonna say this. I'm here for you Kennedy and I want to stay in your life and Ryan's life. You have to let me in though. I know it's not as easy as it is to say it but you have to at least let me try to be there for you. I'm not always gonna be the bad guy. I hate that whatever I say to you you either get pissed off or really upset. I don't want to do that to you. So i'm gonna either shut the hell up and stop trying to make you feel better or you're going to have to stop being so defensive."

He was still frustrated so he went on, "You weren't the only one with someone like Rodney in your life. I put Rachel through hell too. So we were both in the same boat here. And I can say I hate him all I want because I do. Because in my eyes he still has won you over. In my eyes i'm still a mere annoyance in your life that you'd rather not have and he's some god that you tormented and it seems like you'd rather have him sitting here than me. Don't yell at me for saying that please i'm just speaking my mind and i'd like to know I can still do that freely without getting yelled at." He had said all of this in a shaky voice because he didn't want to show emotion even though he was rattled with anger at the moment. He couldn't stand talking about Rodney but he knew he had to tell her how he felt initially. He had to let her know that he still felt like he was in second place since he had given up Rachel to show Kennedy she had been his first place. Kennedy was his number one and he had just been running away from her until now. Now as the time he was making it evident that he wanted to be with her.

He chuckled a bit when she said she hated Rachel. Lord now wasn't that the truth. He had known the extreme hatred towards one another the girls shared. He hated that he was the reason/cause of this hate. He wondered how things would have turned out had Lance not come between the two would fate have thrown together and today they would be good friends? He wanted to laugh out loud at this thought because it was so silly. He was pretty sure the girls would have found another reason to hate each other if a boy hadn't been the cause. It just seemed imminent that the girls dislike one another because of their dominant personalities. He watched her closely as she got up he wanted to be ready in a moments time if she were to jump off the edge. He relaxed a bit though as he watched her slowly make her way back towards him. He let out a quiet rush of breath and his hands calmed as he leaned back on them.

Lance just nodded at her words knowing his voice would have shaken or cracked if he had said one word. When he had heard us it had been like they were back in high school and they had considered each other an item....well in their minds not to everyone else that is. He let a smile come to his lips as she said this though. He cleared his throat just to be sure his voice wouldn't crack as he decided to speak up, "Right about us. We sure do have a hard time talking about us. It seems like we always have." He said with a bit of teasing in his words. Like back in high school the us had to have been kept secret from their actual public relationships that everyone knew they had with their other partners. They also had a son which was ten times more important than them so they had to keep us on the down low. It seemed like the two had kept the us secret for more than just when they were in high school. They couldn't talk about them without getting angry so they kept it secret from themselves. Well tonight they needed to talk about us it was vitally important to them and their son. "Well so I don't upset you again because I hate doing that i'm gonna let you tell me where we should start talking about us." He said offering her a charming smile as he kept eye contact with her for one of the first times since he had found her up here.

[addison sophia breslin]

She had expected Lance to say something harsh and cruel back to her after she just had that one-sided battle about Rodney happen, but instead she could hear a sense of calm in his voice she hadn't previously expected. She listened taking a deep breathe and releasing slowly when he said she had to be less defensive, like that would be an easy thing to accomplish. Kenn had been happy around him once, back before word got out that she had been pregnant with his child, and after everything to have him choose another woman over her was enough to have her cement that wall and put whatever else she could in it's way so it couldn't be broken. She hurt beyond belief to know that she had been giving him something Rachel hadn't, that she could have loved him more than Rachel could have, and that they could have been a family right out of high school and yet he didn't have that. He quit his dreams to move to New York, away from her more importantly because her son had been too young to understand. "Being there for me means not leaving when it's convenient for you." She said louder than she'd wanted to, but it was true Lance had a good way of just up and leaving without a word. That was something he would have to change.

She thought he had been done but here he continued about about Rodney and how he felt second-best. Kennedy was confused at that, since when did Lance pull strings on who had been better than who? Wasn't he the one that put Kennedy and their child second best because of the 'ultimate woman' Rachel up and wanting to run away to New York with him? At least when Rodney left town Kennedy had the guts to stick around, she was tormented and teased and her popularity plummeted but she stuck through it all instead of just running away. And you thought he acted like he was in high school still, she told herself just smiling at her own comment. Lance always seemed to make himself out to be the lesser of two evils, him and Rodney we're talking about, but the way Kenn had seen it Rodney had been her knight in shining armour back then. Lance was the shiny new knight that strolled into town catching her eye, and she just let her emotions and want get the best of her enough to where the two had slept together. That is not to say the two didn't have feelings for each other, it just goes to show that neither were innocent at all in the least. She wasn't going to say anything because she wanted this talk about Rachel and Rodney to be completely over, tonight had not been about them so she didn't bother. Instead she drummed her thumb against her knee as she waited for whatever else he had to say, though if it had to deal with one of those previously mentioned people she would just up and leave because nothing would get accomplished.

When he had mentioned the word 'us' it felt so weird to hear him say it. With her saying it she never had a chance to hear it, but when he spoke it from his lips it just seemed like another great sensation. What made matters worse was that he had kept using the word us, over and over again in almost every sentence letting it sink in more as she listened to him. When he left the ball in her court she just sat there for a minute quietly not sure of where to start. There had been some questions roaming around in her mind, but nothing that she wanted to pull out just yet. She wanted to wait to ask him those, instead she looked to make sure the two had been close enough to each other since she'd returned to her seat beside him. She turned so she had been facing him, and without warning she leaned in pressing her lips against his. She had no questions at this time, and those she did have this single kiss could answer. At first what she had wanted to be just a simple peck had turned into something so much more, or at least to her since her lips hadn't pressed against his in quite some time. The sheer thrill of it all had her pressing harder against his lips sending in more passion through the non-existant space between them, but soon she forced herself to pull away letting out a deep breathe once she had.

She couldn't look at him, hell she could barely catch her breathe right now as she turned abruptly facing the opposite direction trying to find the words to say. "You feel anything?" She asked, curious to know if her kiss had done as much for him as it had her. She wanted to know if there had still been a spark, even if it had just been faint, because if there had that would be something they could work with. If the two had kissed and there had been nothing they could go their seperate ways and just hang out for the sake of their child. That would be the easier route but of course with Kennedy things were never easier, she felt the intense spark between the two when her lips had collided with his. Her cheeks she swore were going to stay this tint of red for a long time to come, her almost more embarassed that she'd had the courage to do that more than anything. She wasn't sure what he was going to say, though was ready for his answer telling her he'd felt nothing. That is what she had figured, there had been so much bad air between the two of them that he couldn't feel anything for her still could he? She glanced over at him only for a second before having to turn away again, she just couldn't even bring herself to look at him without some stupid goofy ass smile on her face, and the last thing she wanted was for him to see that that small exchange had made her extremely happy.

[lance warren wright]

Lance just sat there in silence. She wasn't offering any words and he had nothing more to say. He knew she was probably just shocked that he didn't say anything to spark a fight. He was done with it for the moment. He just wanted to clear the air and hopefully finally not argue with this woman he still cared for. It hurt him that most of the time all they didn't was cast angry words between each other. When she had said something about Rodney his chances with her slipped so far down on the list. He just hoped he would disappear again so Lance could get his chances back up and try and get a family going between them. He knew it would be best for Ryan and finally he hoped he could make Kennedy happy. As he pictured the three of them being together he couldn't help but smile. He rolled his head back as he looked up at the sky and letting the smile fade. After he finished talking about all they needed to worry about was them and not their past relationships.

He was done talking with Rachel he had left her for Kennedy for good this time. There was no going back he didn't want to go back. He wanted to commit to Kennedy and Ryan. As the silence still sat it started to get a bit awkward on his part. He looked over at her to see if she was gonna offer any words soon. As she leaned in and kissed him he was shocked and did nothing for a moment. It finally clicked what she had just done and he started to kiss her back. He lifted his arm to place it around her waist but she pulled away after the intense kiss. He was slightly confused by this but let his hand fall back to the dirt where it had been. He looked at her as she quickly turned away from him. Ok... he thought as he looked at her curiously. Well that had been the last thing he had expected her to do though he couldn't help but feel an uncontrollable smile form on his lips.

As she asked him if he felt anything he chuckled a bit. Of course he felt something it felt amazing the spark had still been there...well for him at least. As she glanced back at him for a mere second he was indeed still smiling. He knew she was probably hiding her emotion from him which kind of bugged him but he knew that was how Kennedy went about things. He sighed as he pushed himself up from the dirt. He only knew one way in answering her question and he was going to do it his way. He walked over to the other side of her as he offered her his hands. As she took them he pulled her up quickly into him. He then leaned down and kissed softly at first. He wrapped his arms around her easily to keep the pair of them close and touching. He slowly pulled apart for a moment, "That answer your question or do I have to continue?" He asked with a sly smirk as he spoke softly looking into her gorgeous blue eyes.

[addison sophia breslin]

When she had felt his limp lips against hers at first her thoughts started to wander, maybe he hadn't felt something and did not want her near him like this. Not even second later, because the kiss hadn't been that long at all though it may have felt like an eternity, she could feel his lips start to move and press back against hers, this sended a chill down her smile as she couldn't help but smile through the kiss. She did not want to dive back into her old habits and emotions though so instead she just pulled away in enough time that she could keep herself from doing anything stupid, though once you're known as a whore around the city things like this were never stupid and almost expected. The expression on his face had shown her that he had not expected that sudden gesture, Kenn not expecting herself to do that either but feeling it needed to happen. It would clear the air and hopefully answer a question or two for them, though knowing these two it would just end up complicating things more than they already had been.

When instead of straight up answering her he started to chuckle she looked at him oddly, what was so funny at a time like this? The two had been going down an ackward path for the longest while, one day hollering at each other while the next she'd been cooking him dinner, this had surely not been a time to laugh. Had she said something stupid? This made her wish to be back in that ball she had been in earlier, so she picked her knees up bringing them close to her chest as she linked her arms around them dropping her chin to rest between her knees. She rocked her feet back and forth some moving her body in a small rocking motion, nothing more than a small jolt here and there as she tried to clear her mind. "It really wasn't that funny," She admitted as she couldn't even look at him right now, she had just made an ass out of herself and she definitely felt embarassed. When she did happen to glance over and notice that smile on his face she let out a sigh, either he had been happy by the fact that she had just kissed him, or he had been happy that she had pretty much just made herself out to be a fool. "I guess I got my answer." She mumbled, mostly to her knees hoping he hadn't heard her though the two had been sitting pretty close to each other since she'd leaned in for the kiss.

This must be the part where we say good night, she told herself as she could hear him stirring next to her. She didn't bother to look up and over at him as she just figured she'd cared him off, he hadn't been used to a gesture like that from her since high school so had she honestly expected anything other than him storming off in some fit of rage? When he stood infront of her and held his hand out at first she just shook her head waving it away, though it hadn't budged through her efforts. "I'm not ready to leave yet, I like it here." She said simply not looking up at him, though her eyes couldn't stay from him for long as she noticed his stance had stayed strong and firm before her and he had been stubborn enough that he wouldn't leave until she'd let him help her up and she'd get into her vehicle. She let out a sigh, she'd play it his way and maybe drive around the block a few times and come back when he was gone, so she timidly reached for his hand letting her small petite fingers slip in his palm as she helped him raise her to stand. He had not given her much time to think since as soon as her heels touched the earth she'd been pulled close to him, his lips being brought ever closer to hers as she just stared at them as long as she could, them getting too close that she lost sight so she just closed them as she could feel the slight pressure of his lips against hers. Her knees felt weak, a good feeling for the moment, though her body stayed limp within his grasp.

It was at this time that she understood why he had not kissed her right away. It had been one thing when you personally were initiating it, you knew it was going to happen and you could prepare yourself, but as he kissed her it seemed her entire body and mind shut down around her and she could do nothing. She was a ragdoll as she had been in the arms of the man that had changed her world around so much just the few years ago. Feeling his arms wrap and tighten around her more brought her to reality, how she had been standing above the quarry, filled with water just maybe twenty yards away from them, and the usual hangout / party spot for the teenagers. She had came up here with Lance quite a few times, though they were always with friends and never alone. When they were alone they hid themselves so nobody would find them, it was one thing to have an affair (if you were to call it that), it was another to have an affair with a taken man while you yourself had been claimed in the relationship department. Of course by now she had kissed him back, her lips speaking the words her mind had wanted to scream but couldn't form sentences as her thoughts reached her vocal chords. She was thankful when he had pulled away, her hands finding themselves resting on his shoulder, her hand balling up the fabric from his shirt in her hand grasping at anything she could to stay focused. "We really shouldn't be doing this, you know that." She whispered, her eyes locked on his for the first time since they had met. She couldn't take them off of him, his gorgeous eyes had been looking right back at her, though she was sure he could see the small tint of pink now apparant on her cheeks even in the darkness as she had gotten nervous about his 'do I have to continue' line.

[lance warren wright]

He got a bit scared, no terrified, when she wasn't kissing him back. He just kept telling himself that she was as shocked as he had been when she had first kissed him. As she started to kiss him back he smiled into their kiss. He couldn't believe this was happening to him right now. He felt like he was on cloud nine. He knew now that this girl in his arms was the one that would make him happy in life, despite the numerous current arguments they shared. He knew those would subside as they spent more time together and got used to the idea of them again. He remembered back to the times in high school when it had been so exhilarating for them when they shared those small secretive moments together.

He had gotten lost in his thoughts as he kept his lips pressed gently against hers. He wanted to deepen the kiss but was afraid it might be pushing it too far. He savored this moment because he wasn't sure if a kiss would be shared between the pair for a while after this. He knew she would say something like she had gotten caught up in the moment and blah blah blah. He wish she would just come out and say it, she liked him, or at least had felt something for him still. He would have gladly said it but he was also not wanting to make things complicated for her. Lance also was thinking of Kennedy now that he was trying to get back into their lives. He wanted everything to be right.

As he pulled back and looked in to her amazing blue eyes he smiled charmingly. She had her hands on his shoulders pulling at his shirt. He wanted to smirk but thought she might think he was thinking of something wrong. He kept the smile on his face as she started to speak. Here it was the excuse as to why this shouldn't happen. He nodded slowly, "We shouldn't but I won't lie i've been dying for that to happen." He said quietly as they kept eye contact. He hadn't been able to gaze into her eyes for so long it was like it had been the first time all over again. He felt his stomach flop as he looked upon her. She had a huge effect on him even if she didn't try or care to try. He saw the blush flush upon her cheeks and smiled a bit. He could see he was finally getting to her. He knew it. She did still care for him. He held back his urge to jump for joy as he discovered this fact.

[addison sophia breslin]

When the kiss had been broken Kennedy couldn't help but feel a shiver as the space between them grew just slightly. She wanted so bad to just pull him back in so their lips could be one once more, but instead she'd told him it shouldn't be happening. Inside she'd been screaming for this to happen, her entire body was heating up and she was sure she'd leave burn marks on his skin from the intense degrees of her fingertips. Of course the burning was just a sensation, she wasn't actually on fire though it sure did feel like it. Being with Lance had given her that same feeling time and time again, that had to be one of the reasons that she had been so driven to him even when she had been happy with Rodney. Lance just had something that Rodney didn't, Kennedy couldn't place it but there was just something different about him. She didn't mind, she almost preferred it, but with her being so stubborn she would never admit to it.

When he spoke up telling her he'd wanted that her shy side, one that she had just grown into considering throughout high school she hadn't been anywhere near shy, had started to show through as she bit her bottom lip letting her eyes drop from his gaze as she focused on the ground beneath them. She let out a soft sigh, he had just said what she had been thinking so what had been the problem? It had been him, him and Kennedy, that had never been an option because of all the bad reviews from their peers. They were looked at as wrong for an item, the two were not meant to be and everyone didn't hold back in letting them know. Something had kept drawing them together though, something might have been working it's magic tonight as well as Kenn's eyes slowly were brought back from the ground up to peak into his once more, though they were more reserved as she kept that timid way about herself, her bottom lip still tucked behind her teeth as she nervously bit at the skin.

She stepped back, her hand coming from his shoulder where she had it and she let it drop and hang at her side as she looked around before clasping her hands together infront of her bringing both to her mouth to breathe through them as she turned shaking her head. This had been a small anxiety attack so to speak, just everything had happened way too fast and her head had been flooded with all sorts of ideas and thoughts. Some great thoughts, some bad, those that were naughty, and then the thoughts of Ryan. She had to calm herself, she couldn't be swept away as she normally had been with him each time the two were together. She walked away further from him some just looking around keeping quiet, what could she possibly say right now? You have no idea how much I have wanted that too, and have waited, no there wasn't a chance in hell she would tell him that as she stopped about five yards from him as she leaned against the limb of a tree that had been beside her. She let out a sigh as she looked down at her feet unable to look at him for a minute, it had nothing to do with him more like her personal struggle with her own thoughts.

Who am I kidding? She asked herself in her mind as she looked at him standing there, Kenn getting a charming smile on her lips as she picked herself up from the leaning position and took a step towards him. This would be a single moment where Kenn would get the courage that she used to have with him, the courage that she needed around him just could never find herself getting. She had no idea what had gotten into her as she took another step towards him, this closing the gap a lot as she could reach out and touch him if she'd wanted to. She did too, she went and picked his hand up into hers and laid his palm against the soft skin of her cheek, her hair falling around it as she closed her eyes taking one more step so the two had been right next to each other, her face nuzzling into her hand as her breathing because softer the more she relaxed into his touch, one that she had been provoking from the start. You could see a smile apparant on her face, though she stayed silent for the time being.