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Post by addison sophia breslin on Aug 19, 2009 12:29:33 GMT -5
At home Kenn watched the clock creep up towards midnight as she lay in her bed hopeless, she just could not sleep and constant stirring had been driving her insane. She had to get up and moving but with her son sleeping peacefully in the other room she couldn't make too much noise, not since for the past few nights his sleeping patterns had been disturbed. She figured his two year molars had been coming in, those teeth being the largest in his mouth so they were bound to cause some problems. Kenn was just thankful after this he'd have his entire set of teeth, and things could calm down for him soon. She pulled herself out of bed and walked to her nightstand to grab her cellphone, and she stepped quietly out of her room and down the stairs as she punched in a number and let it ring.
"Hi, did I wake you?" Kenn asked nervously into the phone. "No, I was just watching a movie. Is everything alright? Is Ryan okay?" the woman on the other side of the phone asked. "Yeah, everything is fine. I was just wondering, I mean if you would want to, he'll probably sleep straight through the night. I was sort of hoping you could come over, I know it's late and very short notice, but could you come stay with him for a few? I just, I can't sleep and there is a lot on my mind, so I sort of wanted to take a drive." You could hear how tired she was but still restless. "Of course, say no more. I'll be right over." Kenn went to thank her but the phone had been hung up already, and with that Kenn went and slipped into a pair of sweatpants and a black hooded sweatshirt as she pulled her long blonde locks into a ponytail and went to throw her phone in her purse and make sure her wallet had been in there. The last thing she needed was to get pulled over without a license.
Within ten or fifteen minutes the girl showed up and Kenn let her quietly into the house, and after some exchanges of words she smiled and headed out the door, of course thanking her a good number of times once more before she ran to her car. She started it and slowly backed out of the driveway and headed off. She had no destination in mind but found herself heading to Stockbridge, she knew it had been about a half an hours travel, but it was enough time to get some good thinking in. She found herself turning down another road that led to the water, and as she reached the beach she turned her car off and stepped out of it in her sandals. She walked and the lighthouse came into view, the light shining out towards the sea, and Kenn seemed drawn to it as she made her way down the beach and towards the open lighthouse. She made her way up the stairs and walked into the big room that overlooked the sea, Kenn taking a sigh of relief as she went over and sat on a bench that had been in there. Now this was tranquil, she could relax here, and she did find herself slowly loosening up as her mind seemed to organize itself more.
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Post by scaraloaf on Sept 17, 2009 17:07:35 GMT -5
I'd like to raise you high 'Cause I think everyone deserves the chance to fly Kayleigh rubbed her face with her hands. She was sat on a bench not too far from the beach, wrapped up in a hooded sweatshirt she hadn't worn for years and some jeans. While it was exactly cold out, it was warm either. The hooded jumper kept the chill off but that didn't stop Kayleigh's leg from bouncing up and down in a silent rhythm or her teeth from chattering. It was late out and darkness had long since drawn in and blanketed the area. Kayleigh couldn't remember exactly where she was or how she had gotten here. All she knew was that she needed to find peace - both with the world and herself.
A car horn screeched in the distance; Kayleigh jumped up in fright, her heart suddenly leaping up into her throat as it throbbed painfully. She looked around her, her tired eyes alert and wary as she scanned the seemingly deserted area. Seeing no immediate threat Kayleigh forced herself to calm down, taking in deep steadying breathes. She shivered and folded her arms across her chest. Maybe now was the best time to start walking. That way she could keep warm and, hopefully, stay out of danger. She started walking, the boots she had chosen to wear making no sound on the concrete beneath her.
The silence seemed to intensify. Kayleigh came to wonder how she had ended up here - wherever here was. She remembered sitting bolt-upright in bed, her breathing heavy and heart heart racing -
Her screamed echoed around the empty room as she sat bolt-upright, her legs tangled deep within the sheets and her body drenched in sweat. The dream, which had started off harmless enough, had been so real. She could feel everything that had happened; smell every vile odour and hear every sickening word as if it was being whispered in her ear. Kayleigh knew it wasn't a dream: she was still reliving that moment when her entire world changed forever. Recent events had only made the dreams more vivid and real.
Kayleigh threw the blanket off of her, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and cradled her head in her hands, her sobs echoing around her. It was not supposed to be like this. This was never how it was meant to happen. She should have been settled down and married by now, enjoying life. But no, here she was, slumming it like her parents had. It was almost as if history was repeating itself and God was having the time of his life, laughing at her torment.
She was being irrational. She knew it but that didn't make her feel any better. She wanted someone to blame. Anyone. She had long since tried to lay the blame firmly at her parents door but that never made her feel any better. She had taken to blaming God instead. Not that she believed in God.
In her trance like state Kayleigh remembered pulling on the nearest items of clothing she could find and storming out. How she came to be here, she didn't know. But here she was. Strolling along in the dark in the dead of night, hair pulled back untidily and just generally not with it.
The rolling of sea waves and the sea air attacked Kayleigh's senses. She stopped at the top of the road which would take her down to the beach, inhaling the sea air deep into her lungs. She felt all the tension in hr body drain away as she heard the gentle rolling of the waves and the lapping of the water on the beach. She followed the sounds, feeling all the stress leave her body. She felt the change as her feet hit the sand. She paused to whip off her boots, allowing the sand to caress her bare skin. In the glow of the nearby lighthouse, Kayleigh could see the contrast in colour between the rich golden sand and her own ghostly white skin tone. She looked up, feeling a light breeze hitting her face. She felt the girlie giggle building deep within her and threw her arms wide, reveling in the moment. As the breeze died out, Kayleigh lowered her gaze to stare out to sea.
The inky blue of the sea seemed to stretch on for miles. One could most likely get lost and never be found. Kayleigh wondered what that would feel like. Would anyone ever wonder where she was? Would anyone care? She lifted her foot out of the sand and started walking slowly towards the waters edge, putting one foot in front of the other, the edge of the water suddenly growing ever closer.
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Post by addison sophia breslin on Sept 17, 2009 21:47:21 GMT -5
Kennedy let out a sigh as she looked out at the water from above, being inside the lighthouse had always been so calming for her. She loved that it had been open to the public, and more surprisingly she was amazed that no teenagers had went on a rampage and vandalized the place, though she was thankful because that would bring down the ultimate charm of the gorgeous small lighthouse. She could feel her thoughts starting to wash away as she looked down at the beach from her perch, and that is when she noticed a single figure on the sand below. What was someone else doing out here so late at night? She was confused to say the least and thought she should check the situation out, maybe somebody needed help and she could lend a hand or something, and that could get her mind off of everything else that had been going on in her life. She needed that distraction and this person could be just the one to give it to her.
She stood up from her bench and made her way down the stairs and outside, the chill of the night air rushing over her as she shivered some as she stepped further out into the night and towards the person now walking towards the waters edge. She sure hoped this person hadn't been on drugs or crazy in any respect, the last thing she needed to do was have someone flip out on her or do something insane like try to rob her, though all of her personal belongings had been in the car so she wasn't too worried. Not that she had anything worth stealing in the first place either, Kennedy was about as broke as they came and nothing she owned was fancy in any way. As she stepped closer to the figure the light from the lighthouse flooded the ocean, the reflection bouncing off the waters edge letting the girl come into clear view. She recognized this girl, she had just met her not too long ago, Kayleigh was her name. Kennedy felt a lot better at least knowing that she was coming up to someone seemingly normal, and that she wouldn't have to worry about any crazy events happening. Hell in the end Kennedy was the crazy one out of the two, she went off on some sort of tangent their last conversation and left in a hurry, so Kayleigh had every right to think of her as anything but normal. Tonight she could change that though, she could give the girl a better impression and hope that the second one would stick better than the first.
"You alright?" She asked curiously stopping not too far from the girl not knowing what else she could say to get the girls attention. The girl seemed sort of distracted, like she had been lost in her own little world, but Kenn could understand that considering she'd been that same way tonight. She smiled some as she stuffed her hands into the front pocket of her hoodie as she took another step closer to the other girl. Maybe she shouldn't have came up to her like this, maybe Kayleigh just needed some time alone to get her own thoughts in order, but still Kenn couldn't help but ask the same question over again, though at least she was nice enough to phrase it in a different manner. "You seem sort of distracted tonight, are things okay?" She asked, though how was she supposed to know that the other seemed more distracted? She had met her once and that had been at a party so of course she'd be distracted, but tonight she seemed sort of in a daze facing the ocean. "This is a nice place to come to clear your mind isn't it?" She asked finally turning to face the water herself hoping the other wasn't mad that she had came up and talked to her.
She took a deep breathe inhaling the sweet salty smell of the ocean as she closed her eyes for a minute, her body warming up as it regulated it's temperature to fight the outside chilling cold. That had to be the worst part about Florida, the days could be hot and stunningly gorgeous, and yet the minute the sun went down it could be damn near close to freezing to her. She was a pansy when it came to weather though, it could be seventy degrees outside and she'd be in sweats and a sweatshirt wrapped up in a blanket sometimes. When she was depressed it seemed the cold intensified the weather as well, her body not easily adapting since it'd been fighting back all the stress that was building up. "If you're prefer to be alone I can go, i'm not sure if you're up for company or not." She wanted to ask the most important question though, what had brought a girl like Kayleigh here in the first place in the middle of the night, but instead restrained herself from digging too deep at the beginning of the conversation. If she wanted Kenn to know what had dragged her here she was sure she'd tell her at one point, and if she didn't then Kenn would just have to drop the thought from her mind. Kayleigh was a fresh slate for Kenn and the last thing she wanted to do was upset her in any way, that would ruin any chance of actually building a friendship with someone that could see her as an actual person instead of just the usual slut she'd been known as, though that classification was something that Kenn never personally understood.
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Post by scaraloaf on Sept 18, 2009 14:47:33 GMT -5
I'd like to raise you high 'Cause I think everyone deserves the chance to fly Kayleigh stopped a short distance from the waters edge, watching as the waves lapped gently at the sand, rushing up the beach before retreating. The constant movement was hypnotic. She now understood why the beach was the ideal place to come to when things got too much. It's relaxing atmosphere was appealing and drew you in and held you captive - in a good way though.
"You alright?"
The voice floated in the wind; Kayleigh turned around, instantly on her guard. Who would go around in the dead of night sneaking up on people like that and give others a heart attack. In the glow given off by the lighthouse Kayleigh could make out the blonde hair and defined features of Kennedy, the girl from the barn party. The one whom had stormed off before Kayleigh had a chance to do or say anything.
"Kennedy?" Kayleigh asked, suddenly feeling very foolish. "I didn't realise anyone was here." Kayleigh turned to look out over the sea again, feeling the tension slowly seeping back into her body.
"You seem sort of distracted tonight, are things okay?"
Kayleigh sensed the hesitation in Kennedy's voice. Were things okay? No! Kayleigh's mind screamed. Things are not okay. Everything is a mess. Nothing ever seems to go right and life is seriously fucked up. Life is unfair and it seems as if The Man Upstairs is having a laugh at my expense! Kayleigh let out a sigh and shrugged her shoulders instead. Maybe it was best she didn't say anything just now - she didn't want to scare Kennedy away by burdening her with all of Kayleigh's own woes.
"This is a nice place to come to clear your mind isn't it?"
Kayleigh knew Kennedy was trying hard to start a conversation. Kayleigh thought she should at least make an effort to speak even though she really did not feel particularly sociable. "Yeah... I guess a lot of the locals kinda take it for granted huh?" she returned, her voice sound hoarse from its lack of use in recent hours. She cleared her throat, glancing quickly at the blonde standing beside her.
Silence reigned again. The awkward kind. The kind you always found yourself dealing with when forced to hold a conversation with someone and you weren't sure what to say. The kind that always seemed to follow Kayleigh around wherever she went, whoever she was with.
"If you prefer to be alone I can go, I'm not sure if you're up for company or not." Kayleigh said nothing for a moment, listening to the rolling waves. After a moment she turned to look at Kennedy.
"You can stay if you want to. I'd appreciate the company. If you still want to stay that is..."
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Post by addison sophia breslin on Sept 18, 2009 21:52:07 GMT -5
Kennedy smiled weakly when the girl had spoke her name, thankful that she had remembered her but nervous about what her opinion had been. She nodded some at the girls next statement returning her attention back to the ocean letting out a small inaudible sigh as her body started to become more relaxed. "This wasn't exactly the plan, I just sort of found myself here." She said quietly unsure of why she had came here in the first place. She turned back to look at the lighthouse for a moment, such tranquility as the light shown out over the waters, and she just smiled some knowing that out of everwhere she could be this seemed to be the perfect place. "I wouldn't have known you were here if I didn't see you from the lookout," She said pointing up to the lighthouse where she had once been perched. "I didn't know it was you exactly, I guess curiousity just brought me down here to see what was going on." She said with a soft shug, she honestly had no idea what the woman had been doing as she watched from above.
She stopped talking wanting to take in the surroundings a bit more as she looked around, the two girls seemingly the only ones along the entire shore, but her attention was brought back to the other woman as she started to speak again. Kennedy looked out at the ocean as she spoke, her having been a native that had probably taken this place for granted so many times in her life before she had given birth, and now after having a son it seemed her entire lifes perspective had changed. "I remember back when I was in high school and they would throw parties down here," She started a story unsure if the girl even wanted to hear, but sometimes listening to stories helped take you out of your own thoughts, and maybe a random story could bring Kayleigh some relief. "Most of the parties were after one of the teams had scored huge on a big game, and I remember how I would drive by here the next morning and there would be work crews cleaning up the trash." She shook her head thinking about the many times the high school students would just thrash this place at night. "I'm almost ashamed to say I hung out with that crowd." She shook her head not wanting to admit that she had been rather high on the popularity chart, though being the head cheerleader that many years ago would boost that image of you around the high school obviously. "I love coming down here though and it's beautiful, it's just a shame everyone else doesn't see the true beauty." She was thankful the school year had just started, surely if there had been a game prior in the night this beach would probably be full of drunk and rowdy teens, something she always thought the cops would put a stop to but instead they did nothing.
The thing about Kennedy is she hated silences and had no problem talking usually, she had been able to talk to just about anyone back during her high school years, but she seemed to find it harder these days considering everything that had happened. "Yeah sure I can stick around for a little while." She said with a smile as she looked over at her. "I tend to talk a lot when i'm nervous." She admitted as she looked at the other beside her. "And to be completely honest I have to admit that I am nervous talking to you since the last time. I must have seemed crazy or something to just blurt out that heart nonsense to you and up and leave like that. I want to say i'm sorry about that, there was just an ex in there that...well we're not on pretty good terms." She shook her head hoping the girl could understand, ex'es and social settings just seemed to set her off especially when the ex had been Lance. "I'm hoping to redeem myself tonight." She said giving the girl a soft smile, anything could be better than what had happened at the party. "So what brings you out here so late, i'd ask if it were sight-seeing, but you can't really see all that much out in the dark and all," Her lame attempt of a joke, she hoped it would at least be somewhat humorous.
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Post by scaraloaf on Sept 20, 2009 7:38:16 GMT -5
I'd like to raise you high 'Cause I think everyone deserves the chance to fly "This wasn't exactly the plan, I just sort of found myself here."
Kayleigh knew the feeling all too well. She was still trying to work out how she had ended up here herself until Kennedy started talking again. "I wouldn't have known you were here if I didn't see you from the lookout." Kayleigh glanced over at Kennedy whom was now pointing up at the lighthouse. Kayleigh's eyes followed the pointing hand. She didn't realise the lighthouse was open to the public. But then again Kayleigh wouldn't want to find out anyway - heights were definitely not something that mixed well with her. "I didn't know it was you exactly, I guess curiosity just brought me down here to see what was going on."
Kayleigh was thankful that she was standing in semi-darkness; the tell-tale blush was creeping up her cheeks. She looked away trying to compose herself for a moment. What had she been doing? Not a lot. Just walking out to the waters edge, wondering what it felt like to be truly lost. She guessed that the sea had a magnetic pull of some kind, the kind that drew you in for reasons unknown. Either that or Kayleigh was starting to lose it all completely, which was most likely the correct option.
Kayleigh still said nothing. She couldn't think of anything to say. At least nothing that would sound completely sane. She instead listened as Kennedy spoke of her past. "I remember back when I was in high school and they would throw parties down here. Most of the parties were after one of the teams had scored huge on a big game, and I remember how I would drive by here the next morning and there would be work crews cleaning up the trash. I'm almost ashamed to say I hung out with that crowd."
Kayleigh looked over at Kennedy with a questioning look. "Almost?" she asked softly. Kayleigh didn't elaborate any further but couldn't help but wonder. How could you be almost ashamed?
"I love coming down here though and it's beautiful, it's just a shame everyone else doesn't see the true beauty."
Kayleigh nodded sadly. "Young people in particular don't seem to recognise true beauty until it's too late," she spoke finally. "They take the world we live in for granted." Her words sounded like those uttered by the elderly. It was true though. Despite her young age, Kayleigh had seen a lot more than people gave her credit for. At one point in her life she had taken things for granted - look where it had gotten her. Alone and practically broke. It both wisened and saddened her.
Kayleigh sank down into the sad, feeling the need to sit. Standing for prolonged periods of time made her whole body ache and drained her physically. Particularly seeing as she hadn't slept properly in weeks.
"Yeah sure I can stick around for a little while." Kayleigh smiled gratefully up at Kennedy. At least she wouldn't look like a total loner. "I tend to talk a lot when I'm nervous. And to be completely honest I have to admit that I am nervous talking to you since the last time. I must have seemed crazy or something to just blurt out that heart nonsense to you and up and leave like that. I want to say I'm sorry about that, there was just an ex in there that...well we're not on pretty good terms." Kayleigh nodded sympathetically. She had had and inkling that the reason for Kennedy's sudden departure was down to a guy. "Was it anything to do with that guy I pointed out to you by any chance? The same one who rushed out after you?"
"I'm hoping to redeem myself tonight."
Kayleigh shook her head. "You have nothing to be sorry for," she said simply. "If I'd have been in your shoes, chances are, I would have done exactly the same thing. And besides, we had just met. It takes more than a brief conversation and a sudden departure to make a bad impression on me." Kayleigh smiled back at Kennedy for a moment before looking out to sea again. She closed her eyes for a moment, just breathing in the smell that was associated with the sea.
Kennedy's voice penetrated her thoughts. "So what brings you out here so late, I'd ask if it were sight-seeing, but you can't really see all that much out in the dark and all."
Kayleigh's let out a noise that sounded something like a cross between a laugh an a snort. She opened her eyes again, this time focusing them on Kennedy. "Nah, sight-seeing isn't really my thing," she returned, a small smirk gracing her lips. It disappeared as soon as it had appeared though. "I couldn't sleep. I uhh... I haven't been sleeping too good lately." Kayleigh paused for a moment, surveying Kennedy questioningly. "What about you? How comes you're out so late?"
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Post by addison sophia breslin on Sept 21, 2009 21:02:43 GMT -5
Kennedy looked over at her quickly when she heard her speak that one word, almost, as though examining Kenn's words closely. Kennedy took a deep breathe looking back out at the ocean. "It's complicated I guess," She said wanting to explain what she had meant by choosing to use that word, but each time she opened her mouth she just couldn't seem to find the right words. "I don't really know how to explain." Kennedy could go on and give the other woman stories about how her friends had done nice things, some completely out of their realm of reality it seemed, and by doing such things Kennedy could be less ashamed of hanging with a group like that, but in the end it all goes back to the wild and insane youths she made the choice to hang out with in the first place.
She was thankful when Kayleigh moved on from that topic and to the next, the scenery. She couldn't help but laugh some after the woman had said that, though it had not been in a teasing manner. "You're not so old yourself," She said, a hint of a teasing tone in her voice as she smiled at the other. "I do know what you mean though," She made sure to get serious for that part. "How about you though? Do you take things for granted?" Kennedy was not sure if she was getting too deep into conversation with Kayleigh, but it seemed almost as if she had been talking about herself that last moment. "I know I have, a few times." She said hoping that would ease the girl up some, Kennedy wasn't looking for exacts, she just felt it was a good way to keep the conversation going. "The best thing we can do is just move forward right? That is easier said than done though." She shook her head, she had taken things for granted and then they were gone. Instead of moving forward most couldn't, they would think and think about what they had done in hopes that magically somehow they could change the past, though in the end they all knew there was no changing things that had happened.
Kennedy watched as the girl beside her sat but she decided it'd be best to stand for a little while more, or at least she could have without Kayleigh asking that next question. Kennedy immediately felt her knees getting weak as she too leant down and made herself comfortable against the sand. Her feet were stretched out infront of her as she looked at the water nodding her head though staying silent at first. What should she say right now? She might as well go ahead and tell her the story, it could be a long night and this could make it smoother, or at least it might just feel better for Kenn to get this stuff off her chest. "That'd be him. We had a thing in high school." She said shrugging some, she wasn't about to tell her that both Lance and her had cheated on their partners just to be together. "It ended pretty badly for the both of us and it's just hard seeing each other these days," She said shaking her head as she thought about the next part. "After he had came and found me outside we ended up arguing, pretty much what we do all the time, and I left the party." She kept thinking about what came next, the accident. Should she tell Kayleigh about the accident or just leave it at that? She decided she could, it had been the reason she was out there of course, but she would wait until the time had been right.
She smiled as the girl had made her feel better about what she had done. She felt thankful that if the situation had been reversed she would have done the same thing, but still she felt bad for what she had done. She listened to the girl as she talked about how she hadn't slept that good lately, and she just nodded. That had meant her first assumption had been right, something had to be on her mind. She wasn't about to ask her what though, she had been vague but it had still been an answer, so she had to accept it. When she had asked her what Kenn had been doing there though she felt she should just get it off her chest. Maybe she could start to feel better. "After I left I don't know what happened, something happened and he ended up getting into an accident and he's torn up pretty bad. I came out here having no idea what else to do, his girlfriends with him at the hospital and I feel like i'm doing nothing. I'm not even sure if I should be doing something." She shrugged again not wanting to talk about it anymore, if she did she would probably start to cry and she did not need that. She still did not tell Kayleigh about her son, the one that Lance and her had shared together, but she felt it would be better to keep that part out of the story. She wasn't ashamed of her son, but still sometimes it was just better left unspoken. "I just sort of hope the ocean had the answer."
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Post by scaraloaf on Sept 24, 2009 14:31:16 GMT -5
I'd like to raise you high 'Cause I think everyone deserves the chance to fly Kayleigh met Kennedy's gaze head on. She regretted saying anything now but she just couldn't help it - she picked up on certain words and her somewhat inquisitive nature took over. "It's complicated I guess. I don't really know how to explain." Kayleigh saw that Kennedy appeared to be struggling to find the words.
"I'm sorry. I understand. I shouldn't have said nothing. I'm sorry." Kayleigh looked away too, despite her own curiosity being very much aroused. She wondered what Kennedy must have been through or done to struggle to talk about her past. But then again Kayleigh never could talk about certain aspects of her own life - she tended to skate over that part. So she had settled on something neutral, something to keep the air light and conversation flowed, albeit in a slight stilted manner. The scenery around them had seemed like a good idea... until she had started spouting the "young whippersnapper" stuff. Oh what must this woman think of her?
Laughter was definitely something she had expected. But not the gentle rebuking kind of laughter...
"You're not so old yourself," the teasing tone to her voice lightened Kayleigh's mood somewhat. "I do know what you mean though. Do you take things for granted?" Did Kayleigh take things for granted? She had when she was younger, definitely. The love of her parents when she was a toddler had been one of the things taken for granted. Something she soon longed to have once she was able to walk. the only other thing she had taken for granted was her friendship with Jack. He had always been there for her, picked her up when she was feeling down; cheered her up when things got tough and encouraged her through the trials and tribulations that had been thrown her way. Then she had suddenly upped sticks and left. The void that had remained with her had never been filled. She never realised how tough life would be on her own. To this very day she still regretted leaving him, despite being much happier to be away from the place that had caused her more torment than any human should have had to go through.
"- have, a few times. The best thing we can do is just move forward right? That is easier said than done though."
Move on. Was that ever possible? "Yeah... I have taken things for granted. I never knew how difficult it would be to live without the one person who meant everything to you..." Kayleigh trailed off. She has inadvertently told Kennedy a part of her life that she had tried in vain to keep locked where it was. But maybe it would help to talk about it? It had been said that talking things out was therapeutic and helps the mind and the soul. But did Kayleigh really want to burden someone else with all her woes?
All this talk and thinking made Kayleigh glad that the sand beneath her was supporting her instead of her own legs. She felt a little uncomfortable being seated while Kennedy stood but said nothing. They didn't move for a moment until Kayleigh's question had been posed. She watched as Kennedy sank into the and beside her, silence reigning until the other girl broke it. "That'd be him. We had a thing in high school. It ended pretty badly for the both of us and it's just hard seeing each other these days." High school love. Not the best way to start a relationship; but what did Kayleigh know? Her own track record, though it wasn't impressive in its length, hadn't been great. "After he had came and found me outside we ended up arguing, pretty much what we do all the time, and I left the party."
Kayleigh nodded, showing she had understood the gist of what was being offered. She had a shrewd suspicion that there was more to it than that but decided not to press the issue: if Kennedy wanted to talk about it then she would talk about when she was ready and most certainly not before.
As Kennedy spoke Kayleigh listened. It was the least she could do: sometimes all it took was a good listener to help relieve the tension. It was particularly difficult to find one of those. "After I left I don't know what happened, something happened and he ended up getting into an accident and he's torn up pretty bad. I came out here having no idea what else to do, his girlfriends with him at the hospital and I feel like I'm doing nothing. I'm not even sure if I should be doing something." There was a slight pause before Kennedy continued. "I just sort of hope the ocean had the answer." Kayleigh said nothing for a number of minutes, her gaze on the sand in front of Kennedy.
"Maybe doing nothing is the right thing..." Kayleigh began slowly, a slight frown creasing her forehead. "If you start doing something - anything - it might, well... complicate things and make things even worse. Maybe just... staying away might help?" Kayleigh looked up. "Crap advice, I know," she said, giving a wry smile. "But I'm sure there's much more worse than I can give." Kayleigh looked at the ocean, remembering Kennedy's remark about the ocean having the answers. "As for the ocean, well... At least it doesn't judge you. That's about all I can say at the moment. I wish it would give me an answer..."
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Post by addison sophia breslin on Sept 26, 2009 21:34:22 GMT -5
Kennedy had always known that talking about your problems helped, to what degree she would never be certain, but tonight she could see that the honest wisdom her mother had given her was turning out to be true. Sitting alone in the lighthouse Kennedy would have done nothing but think about everything that had happened throughout high school, and more importantly this past week, but with Kayleigh she had somewhat of an escape from her own life, and more importantly her problems. With Kayleigh Kennedy had that clean fresh slate, this other woman passed no judgement based upon rumors she'd heard, and that had meant that she could see Kennedy for the human being she'd actually been, not the one that her old classmates had turned her into. Kennedy was able to actually relax while in another persons company, and that had her feeling better than she had in a while already. She would have thanked Kayleigh right here and now but that might have been ackward, so instead as she shifted her weight to sit on the sand she just stayed silent for a moment.
Kennedy's eyes were occupied on the water as the other girl spoke, but she soon found her gaze being drawn to the blonde as she finished that sentence. The one person that had meant everything to her? Kennedy's first thoughts had been a male of course, but as she processed that sentence even more she came to realize it could also mean a mother, or maybe even a father that she had held close to her heart. Kennedy could understand, she and her mother had been very close all throughout Kenn's childhood, but still the way she had phrased it she couldn't help but think it had been a male from her past. "If you want to tell me about it i'd listen." That was all she could come up with, she had no idea if the person she was referring to had died, or maybe just moved away, or in this case she'd moved from them considering she was still fairly new to the city. Kennedy had no idea about the situation so she felt as though her response had been safe, she did not jump to conclusions and had left it open for if Kayleigh had wanted to open up to her. "You don't have to though, I just wasn't sure if it'd help or not." She had no idea what to say right now as the sentence she'd just heard from Kayleigh play through her head once more. Maybe Kenn and Kayleigh her more in common than she had thought in the beginning, both were realizing it was hard to live without that special someone, no matter who that person had been.
She could feel the cold creep up her back some as a shiver was sent down her spine. She should have worn another jacket over her sweatshirt out tonight, but in the end she had no idea that she'd be headed out here to the water. She started to warm up as a small amount of adrenaline rushed through her veins as she spoke about what had happened with Lance at the party, and then about the accident and how he'd been in the hospital with Emma sitting by his side. The warming sensation had not been caused by anger but moreso panic. She could not help but think that she had been the reason behind what had happened. Since she had been the one to raise her voice and storm off it'd been her fault, the drinking and then the accident, it all could be blamed on her and her actions. She thought she had been doing the right thing at the time, she had let him go and told him to forget about her, and yet he still turned around to fight for her? What was wrong with him? She let out a sigh just as Kayleigh started to give her the advice, of course saying that it'd been crap, but the more Kenn thought about what she'd been saying the more she understood.
"That isn't crap at all," She said, warm smile as she looked over at the other. Kayleigh had said what Kenn had been feeling. Kenn knew that by visiting him it'd probably spark another arguement or something, and in the end it'd just end up hurting the both of them emotionally, so she couldn't help but feel relieved that someone else would think along those lines. "Sometimes you need to just take a step back and take a breather, and if that'll help him then I should do that. It's just hard you know?" She asked, somewhat to herself though if Kayleigh had wanted to chime in it'd be more than acceptable. She was thankful when she'd moved on to the subject of the ocean, but like before she'd thrown in that last little line that had sent Kenn's mind on a whirl. Did this small phrase have something to do with the person she had been talking about just prior? Should she just come right out and ask her? "Maybe i'm the answer." She said before a chuckle rolled from beneath her lips. Had she seriously just said something that lame? She needed to explain, and fast. "I mean maybe the ocean is telling you that you need to talk to someone, a third party that knows nothing about what's going on and can be completely objective." It was funny to think that Kenn could try to help solve anothers problems when she couldn't even handle her own, but still she would at least try her hardest to make sense out of someone else's life while hers was in shambles.
"Here, come on." Kennedy said as she stood up and looked at Kayleigh, her hand coming out from her side to help the girl up if she had needed it. "You may not want to talk to me and that's completely fine, I know how hard it can be to talk about sensitive subjects, but I want to show you something." She remembered that at the barn she had told Kenn she'd been fairly new to the Point, and if that were the case than maybe she hadn't realized the lighthouse had been open this late. She walked across the sand quietly, it'd be nice to get out of the cold breeze, and soon she found herself at the lighthouse's door. "You haven't seen the ocean until you have the birds eye view." She said as she pushed the door open and stepped inside motioning for the girl to follow, and with that Kennedy started to climb up the stairs towards the main room overlooking the ocean. She knew it hadn't been the best place because it'd been dark, but as the large light shone out over the water it was still beautiful. She made her way to the top floor and stepped out looking out as the water flickered against the massive light bouncing from the waves. "So, what do you think?" She asked curiously walking over towards the railing situated to keep kids away from the glass as she leaned against it looking below at the water crashing against rocks, though the most she could see was a shimmer of white here and there as the waves made contact.
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Post by scaraloaf on Oct 3, 2009 18:08:12 GMT -5
I'd like to raise you high 'Cause I think everyone deserves the chance to fly "If you want to tell me about it I'd listen. You don't have to though, I just wasn't sure if it'd help or not."
Kayleigh remained silent, certain her inner turmoil was noticeable to the other girl. Did she really want to tell everyone - someone - about that particular night? Was she ready to deal with everything that would no doubt accompany it? Part of Kayleigh was crying out to be listened to, to have someone take care of all her troubles; another part of Kayleigh wanted to keep it all bottled up insider her. She had made a vow to herself not to tell another living soul. Could she break that vow?
"That isn't crap at all." Kennedy's voice brought Kayleigh out of her stupor. She looked curiously at Kennedy before remembering her advice. She gave a wan smile. "Its not?" she asked. "Sometimes you need to just take a step back and take a breather, and if that'll help him then I should do that. It's just hard you know?"
The smile slipped off Kayleigh's face. It sure was difficult. "Yeah," she agreed sadly. "I'm glad I could be of service," she added with a shrug and another small smile. "It's a shame other people in this world don't seem to give a damn - present company excluded," she added hastily, lest Kennedy have gotten the wrong idea.
All the while the gentle lapping of the ocean continued. "Maybe I'm the answer.” Kayleigh looked over at Kennedy curiously. "I mean maybe the ocean is telling you that you need to talk to someone, a third party that knows nothing about what's going on and can be completely objective."
Kayleigh thought about this for a moment. In a sense, Kennedy was right. Someone who was impartial could give advice on situations without being directly involved. They could give suggests and weigh up ideas without hindrance. But that would mean having to explain the real reason Kayleigh had run away. The real reason she was here on her own in a country that was far bigger than she had given credit for. She didn't know if she could bring herself to reveal that part of her past to someone else lest they think badly of her. That was the last thing she needed now. Not when she was just finding her feet again.
"Here, come on." Kayleigh looked up at Kennedy, whom had scrambled to her feet. Kayleigh eyed the outstretched hand wearily. She hesitated a moment before reaching up her own pale hand to accept Kennedy's invitation to help her up. She heaved herself up to her feet, scrambling to pull her boots on quickly. They would probably get ruined in the sand but she didn't really care too much.
"Where are we going?" Kayleigh asked, standing up straight, looking at Kennedy. "You may not want to talk to me and that's completely fine, I know how hard it can be to talk about sensitive subjects, but I want to show you something." Kayleigh watched as Kennedy started towards the lighthouse, hesitating yet again. Ignoring the niggling feeling in her stomach Kayleigh quickly followed the other blonde woman. When they stopped at the foot of the lighthouse, Kayleigh looked up at the towering building. Kayleigh didn't like heights. Even though she had grown up in New York surrounded by tall buildings she still didn't like them. They were like huge monsters leering down at you, teasing you for being so small. Okay, so the lighthouse wasn't as big as a skyscraper, but the building itself looked somewhat majestic. "You haven't seen the ocean until you have the birds eye view."
Birds eye view? Kayleigh gulped. That meant heights. Kayleigh didn't like heights. She let Kennedy lead the way up the stairs, feeling her heart thudding painfully in her chest again that night. She could hear the rush of her own blood pounding in her ears and her light footfalls on the steps echoed around her, sounding a hundred times louder than normal. As the floor leveled out to a room which overlooked the sea. She didn't stop to look, following Kennedy up to the top floor, which was even higher than before. The railings situated around gave the impression of a guarded cell. Down below, the crash of the waves against the rocks and the sound of spray could be heard.
"So, what do you think?"
Kayleigh didn't think much of anything. It was as if she was on auto-pilot, watching the scene playing out in front of her as though she was separated from her body. Her tongue darted out to moisten her dry lips, her blue eyes watching from a distance as Kennedy leaned on the railing. It was so very... Jack-like. Apart from the fact that Kennedy was a woman and looked nothing like Jack, it was the way in which she acted that made Kayleigh ache for the familiarness that was Jack. The thought made tears sting at Kayleigh's eyes, her vision blurring.
"It was my fault..." she said quietly, her eyes slightly glazed over as if seeing but not really seeing. "Well... it wasn't really my fault," she quickly amended. "I couldn't face him, not after what had happened. I was ashamed of myself. I couldn't bring myself to tell him what had happened. I didn't want his - pity. His... Well I dunno. Nothing made sense at the time. He was my best friend; he'd been there for me through everything and yet I couldn't tell him one thing that changed my life forever." Kayleigh's voice broke. She swallowed as one tear drop escaped and slid down her cheek. "I ran away. I... I couldn't stay there, not after that... episode." More tears found their way out, running down Kayleigh's pale cheeks. "He tried to contact me - I couldn't face him because of my... of my... pride. I ignored him. He stopped calling and..." Kayleigh broke off, as a sob escaped her. "I haven't heard from him for about 6 years."
The dam broke; Kayleigh's tears and emotions poured out as her knees buckled and she dropped to the floor, huge sobs wracking her small frame. It was the first time she had talked about it or even acknowledged that that night had even happened. The cracks in her wall had been slowly growing each day and now it was beyond repair. She couldn't take it all back now. It was too late for that.
But maybe that was what she needed. A reprieve. A friend.
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Post by addison sophia breslin on Oct 12, 2009 13:01:39 GMT -5
Kennedy should have asked the other woman if she had a fear of heights as she practically dragged her closer to the lighthouse. She just had the thought in her mind that Kayleigh would feel better after looking out over the water, but she might have stopped walking if she'd noticed the expression on her new friends face changing, or even if she would have paid attention to her actions, but instead Kenn had her head set on showing her the sights and couldn't think of anything else. When she asked her what she thought and turned around she stopped quick in her step, the bright grin that had been on her face falling quicker than anything, because finally Kennedy had realized that maybe be up this high had not been comforting at all for Kayleigh, but instead maybe by doing this Kenn had made things worse for her. She stood frozen in her spot unsure if she should push her back down the stairs towards the door that lead to the beach, or if she should just let her take that extra minute to get used to her new surroundings. Since she didn't think it'd be too fair to just have her turn around Kennedy took a step to the side so Kayleigh could have a better look, Kenn leaning against one of the railings at this time to look out at the water.
Kennedy had been staring off into the distance where the light could barely be seen anymore when she heard the other start to talk, though it had been much more faint than any of their previous statements exchanged. Kennedy was expecting her to tell her she didn't feel comfortable, that she wanted to leave, and that would be entirely alright with Kenn as the two could make the venture back downstairs, but instead she started talking about it being her fault. Kennedy was confused, more than confused considering she'd had no idea what had just happened to make Kayleigh think this had been her fault, but after the next few words she started to realize that it hadn't been about this exact moment. Kennedy leaned her backside against the railing as she let her hands grip onto it still unsure of what she should do, she could tell the girl was beating herself up instead and although the tears had drenched her eyes they still seemed too stubborn to fall, but at the same time she couldn't just walk over and give her a comforting hug or something could she? This had been only their second meeting, the other meeting ending abruptly when Kenn's past decided to kick her in the ass, so wouldn't any physical contact seem too over the top? Kennedy hated not knowing what to do, she probably looked like such an ass as she just stood here clueless.
As Kennedy listened to the girl of course her curiousity had been spiked, what was she talking about that had changed her life so drastically? How bad could it have been to hide the truth from her best friend? Kennedy opened her mouth to speak but unsure of what exactly would fit right now she quickly clamped it back shut letting the other continue, Kayleigh obviously had more to say than Kennedy right now, and that is when she could see that first tear streak down her cheek. Kennedy hated watching people cry, she was very sympathetic when it came to that and instantly her eyes started to water, though a tear could not be seen because Kennedy could keep her emotions at least somewhat contained around others (depending on the situation of course). Kennedy could hear the other girls voice start to crackle as she just watched her, still completely unsure of what this girl had been talking about considering she'd been very vague, and then she heard the word pride come into there. That single word threw Kennedy's mind into a flutter as she was going through all the possible things that Kayleigh could have done, but the more she thought about it the more her ideas just seemed too outrageous to even be considered.
Kennedy jumped from her spot just as she watched Kayleigh drop to her knees as her emotions could not be held back anymore, and she quickly took steps closer to her letting herself bend down and kneel beside the other woman. She brought her hand up from her side and let it hover over the other girls back for a moment unsure if she would even want her sympathy, but as she witnessed the emotional overdrive (which was of course completely expected after something like that) she had to do something, so without another guess she gently placed her hand on the others back and rubbed it across her shoulders. She did not say anything at first as she tried to think of what it would feel like to just move like that, leave everything behind and run away, and she wondered even more what it would have felt like to leave someone behind that she'd cared so much about? Kayleigh had done the one thing that many people could only talk about, she had up and left her life behind, but for what? Should Kennedy ask any questions about what had just happened, or should she just stay silent? She knew that being silent might just be the best thing to do right about now, but at the same time she found words starting to form in her mouth that she could not hold back. "Wh-what happened?" Kennedy had no idea if the other was going to tell her or not, she completely understood if she didn't want to say anything else, but still for some reason she could not keep her mouth shut like she should have. "Maybe talking to him would have helped all those years ago," She said quietly, her hand still rubbing the others back slowly. "He could have helped you, it seems he wanted to or he wouldn't have called so many times." She was unsure if she was just digging herself a hole or not trying to help someone that obviously had been deeper into something than Kenn could comprehend, but she couldn't just sit here and do nothing could she?
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Post by scaraloaf on Oct 14, 2009 6:51:34 GMT -5
I'd like to raise you high 'Cause I think everyone deserves the chance to fly Those darned tears! They burned like fire and tore jagged holes at Kayleigh's already severely battered self esteem. She hated being like this; she hated the helpless feeling that often accompanied it and made her feel even less happier about herself. She hated not being in control of herself. It both worried and scared her more than she could ever express in words.
Kayleigh was only vaguely aware of Kennedy's body squatting down beside her. She couldn't see due to the tears blinding her vision and her whole body trembled in a mixture of fear and grief. She hated herself more than ever before. She remembered the aftermath of the event vividly. The rough and harsh scrubbing of her pale skin; the spewing of her guts at the mere thought of his touch; the tears and the crying over everything that had happened. It had been that same night she had engaged herself in a fierce row with her mother, hurling insults and abuse back and forth before running up the stairs to throw some of her clothes into a suitcase and storm back down the stairs and out the front door in the frigid night air. She had toyed brief with the idea of staying with Jack but decided against it. It was too close to home. Heck, the other side of the world would be too close for all Kayleigh could care.
Kennedy's warm hand rubbing soothingly across her shoulders brought on a fresh wave of emotion to Kayleigh. This was the first time she had properly acknowledged that night had even happen and spoke of its effect, admittedly in a roundabout way. But someone showing compassion was something that the New York born woman had ever experienced. Not properly anyway. She dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, sobbing as she leaned on Kennedy. She heard Kennedy ask somewhat fearfully, "Wh-what happened?"
After a short while, Kayleigh's sobs gently subsided and the tears stopped falling. She took some deep breaths, swiping at her soaked cheeks with the sleeve of her top. She was trying to delay the inevitable and she had a sneaking suspicion that Kennedy knew that too. Kayleigh drew back, her gaze cast downwards.
"Maybe talking to him would have helped all those years ago. He could have helped you, it seems he wanted to or he wouldn't have called so many times."
Kayleigh looked down at her hands as they rested in her lap. "Maybe..." she conceded sadly. "I wanted to - I really did. I just... couldn't. I was ashamed of myself even though it wasn't my fault. I knew what Ja- he would do..." She closed her eyes, desperate to gain some control over herself. Why was she hiding everything from everyone? It wouldn't help her and, ultimately, it would drive everyone away. Look at her and Jack. The rift between them was larger than ever before.
If only she hadn't been so foolish then she wouldn't be in this mess right now. She'd been avoiding everything in her life, even going as far as creating a persona, a facade which she could hide behind. That had helped for a while. She had lived a life that, while was technically hers, but wasn't at the same time. It belonged to someone with a different name; a different outlook; a different life. It had satisfied her for a while but in the end she had grown restless, tired of pretending to be someone she wasn't. That combined with the fact that she was wary of being recognised in certain places, like New York for example, and having her cover blown. Kayleigh gave up the life she had craved, choosing to travel and go back to her normal self, Kayleigh-Anne Thropp.
"I saw him once," Kayleigh said quietly. "I was in New York doing something and I turned around and saw him standing there, his arm wrapped around a woman. I remember looking at him and him looking at me," she continued, feeling a stab of pain tear at her heart. "I knew deep down that he recognised me. But neither of us did anything. I turned and left." I had hurt even more than it had before, but she couldn't have risked people knowing her true identity. That had been the main reason she had given up the one thing in the world she had loved.
She looked up at Kennedy, broken once again. "What do I do Kenn?" she asked, her voice choking. "I've screwed up so bad."
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Post by addison sophia breslin on Oct 18, 2009 14:06:03 GMT -5
The more Kayleigh talked about what had happened, however vague she was making it to be, the more Kennedy was concerned more than curious. Obviously whatever had been happened was something huge, or at least that is the way she'd made it sound, but could it have been bad enough that her best friend wouldn't have understood? If he hadn't understood he was no true best friend, or at least that is the way Kennedy would view it. There were those circumstances though where even a best friend just could not understand your actions, but since she said it hadn't been her fault she shouldn't be to blame right? Kennedy was so confused but right about now her concern for the other girl had trumped that. She had no idea what to tell this other girl right now, so instead of opening her mouth and probably saying the wrong thing she just stayed silent.
Kennedy's hand stopped on the girls shoulder as she started to talk about having seen him in New York. He had moved on from the sounds of things, or at least it had appeared that way from what the other woman had been saying. Could one truly move on from someone as important as she had been to him though, or at least she'd sounded very important from the small amount of information Kayleigh had given her. Kennedy felt her heart jerk some as she talked about just turning and leaving, neither of them saying anything to each other, and the more Kayleigh spoke the more depressing this story had been. Here a woman had been, a strong and independant one at that from what Kennedy could gather, and she was literally a wreck on the floor about something that had happened. She had this best friend, his name ja something, maybe James or Jason? Kennedy could not concern herself with that minor detail though, that had not been the main premise of the story of course, so instead she tried to wrap her head around what else had been given to her. Kayleigh had been ashamed about something that had happened in her past, something that had not been her fault, but still something large enough that she could not tell the one person that she seemed to care the most about. This was some deep and heavy stuff, and trying to help this other helped Kennedy forget about her own problems for the timebeing, something that Kennedy could at least be thankful for in a short sense.
Still Kennedy stayed silent but could see the others face lifting up from her stare at the floor to look over at her. When she asked that question Kennedy honestly had no idea what to say, so instead as she sat rested on her legs she pulled her hand from the girls shoulder and folded them both against her lap tapping her fingers against her thighs trying to figure out something that she could say. She had been asked a question, she could not just nod and avoid it, but at the same time she wanted to make sure whatever had came from her lips had not been pointless and pathetic. She wanted to aid in the situation, not just make it worse, so instead of opening her mouth too soon she simply went and thought about what would be the best to say. "Wha-" She stopped talking unsure if the question she had for the girl had been one that should be asked, maybe the problem would be better left under the covers like it'd been since it had happened. Still Kenn knew one thing for certain, she could not help entirely until she'd known what it had been that the other had done, but even then she was unsure if she'd be able to help her. If it had been truly as bad as she had made it out to be maybe Kenn would be clueless, something that Kenn hoped wasn't the case. "Did coming here help you escape?" She asked instead, curious to know if whatever had happened would cause people to hunt her down for whatever reason. "Do you feel safe here?" Not that Kenn expected her to say yes, she had been alone with nobody to trust, but at least having Kenn here now she'd make sure that this other woman would trust her the most she could.
"If it wasn't your fault you can't blame yourself." She said shaking her head finally having something to say. "You say whatever happened had been someone else's fault, so how can you think that you've screwed up so bad? By not telling him? Maybe you thought that was the best thing, depending on the situation maybe it was something that you needed to hide from him." Kennedy could sort of understand that, but hoped that Kayleigh could as well. "I mean if someone else was involved, obviously someone else was involved because it was their fault, so maybe by not letting him in on it you've protected him?" Kennedy was just rambling now, she had no absolute idea. "What happened Kayleigh?" She finally asked, this being the burning question. Kennedy could not judge, she was in the worst place for judging people considering the mistakes she had made in her own past, so even if it had been terrible Kennedy should understand right? She hoped that were the case. "If you don't want to tell me everything maybe give me just something? I have no idea how to help if I don't know anything other than it'd been a big mistake. I'm not the best person for advice, I seem to mess up a lot, but there might be something I could do. I don't know seriously, i'm at a loss for words." She said, though that seemed more untrue than anything because Kennedy couldn't stop talking, or rambling had been more like it.
Kennedy stood up and started to pace the floor infront of Kayleigh running her hands through her hair as she tried to think of something. "Is there anyone you can tell? Like relatives or something that would understand, maybe could help?" She asked curiously as she kept walking, she could not sit still right now as she was trying to figure things out. "What about him? The man you are talking about, are you sure it is too late to talk to him, maybe you guys could forgive and forget or something?" Forget, that was a loaded word, no matter what had happened nobody seemed to be able to forget everything. "How long ago had you seen him? Maybe he was just with a friend or something, and the two weren't dating or anything. Wait, were you two dating or just best friends?" She had to stop asking questions, but she just couldn't. It seemed the more kayleigh talked the more Kenn had questions, and although she wished she could just shut up and be the solid quiet support the girl needed she just knew it wasn't going to happen. "What about the other person, the one whose fault it had been, has anything happened to them? Was it something large enough that the police would get involved or something?" She had no idea why she just asked that question, it seemed entirely out of place from the direction she had been heading. She just shook her head, she had to stop talking. "How old were you when this happened?" She asked, this meaning the situation that Kayleigh had screwed up with.
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Post by scaraloaf on Oct 26, 2009 18:16:19 GMT -5
I'd like to raise you high 'Cause I think everyone deserves the chance to fly Kayleigh's eyes searched Kennedy's ones. She knew that she had put the other woman on the spot by springing that question. Kennedy didn't know the full facts, something Kayleigh had deliberately done. Kayleigh knew she was being unreasonable by asking Kennedy for advice when she knew nothing about the events, even with the vague account she had been provided with.
"Wha-" Kayleigh waited for the rest of the question which didn't come. She could see that Kennedy was trying to hold herself in check despite wanting to know more. Kayleigh couldn't blame her. Had the situation been reversed then the feelings would have been mutual. "Did coming here help you escape? Do you feel safe here?" Of all the questions, that was one which Kayleigh was not expecting. But it made her think. Did she feel safe here? Had it helped her to escape? The honest answer the later question was a resounding no. If anything she had thought more about her past since she had been here. She was finally coming to terms with her past, although she had to admit that it wasn't in the way she had planned.
Kayleigh hesitated a moment more before answering. "It has kind of helped me escape," she admitted slowly. "I mean I have left that life behind. But it just seems that, since I've been here - which hasn't been all that long - I've been thinking about everything that has happened in my life. All the regrets I've had... It just seems that I have too much time on my hands here..." It was true. She had no job now and spent her days meandering aimlessly about here and there. There was always drama here.
"If it wasn't your fault you can't blame yourself." Kennedy was right in come sense. But that still didn't make Kayleigh feel any better. She had long ago gotten into the habit of putting the blame on herself, even when it wasn't her fault. There were some habits that where hard to kick. "You say whatever happened had been someone else's fault, so how can you think that you've screwed up so bad? By not telling him? Maybe you thought that was the best thing, depending on the situation maybe it was something that you needed to hide from him."
"It was the best thing!" Kayleigh interjected, looking down at her hands miserably. "What happened... He just... I-" Kayleigh growled in frustration, digging the heels of her palms into her eyes. She couldn't explain why it was the best thing... It just was.
"I mean if someone else was involved, obviously someone else was involved because it was their fault, so maybe by not letting him in on it you've protected him?" Kennedy's ramblings hurt Kayleigh's brain. She kept her eyes squeezed tightly closed as if trying to shut the prying world out of her life. It wasn't working. "What happened Kayleigh?If you don't want to tell me everything maybe give me just something? I have no idea how to help if I don't know anything other than it'd been a big mistake. I'm not the best person for advice, I seem to mess up a lot, but there might be something I could do. I don't know seriously, I'm at a loss for words."
The time had come. Kayleigh had stalled long enough, trying to delay the inevitable but she was fighting a losing battle. There were some fights that could not be won and this was one of them. She dragged her hands down her face before dropping them into her lap. She looked down at them as they danced about restlessly. Keeping her gaze adverted from Kennedy's eyes, she finally whispered the words she had dreaded saying aloud for the last 6 years of her life.
"I was raped." The words were out and she instantly wanted to snatch them back and hold them close her body, like a mother would a child. But she couldn't take them back now. It was all out in the open whether she liked it or not. Kennedy would either embrace this fact and help Kayleigh move on with her life or recoil in disgust and turn away for good. But, despite that, the young, troubled woman felt an odd sense of relief, like a weight being lifted off her shoulders. Maybe there was some truth in it when people said that talking helped.
Kennedy's pacing startled Kayleigh. She watched as the other blonde walked back and forth, firing questions at Kayleigh. "Is there anyone you can tell? Like relatives or something that would understand, maybe could help?" Relatives. Kayleigh felt the bile rise at the back of her throat at the mere mention of the word. No-one in her family cared about her. It was because of them that she was sitting here having to deal with all the mess that had been created. "No. They couldn't care any less about me."
"What about him? The man you are talking about, are you sure it is too late to talk to him, maybe you guys could forgive and forget or something?" Forgive and forget. It was a possible idea, but could they really settle everything? Kayleigh knew Jack could hold a grudge but she didn't think she could live if they ever met again and it all blew up in their faces. It would be just her luck to. She shook her head in response to Kennedy question. No, she wasn't going to risk it. Unless he would just so happen to stroll into Point Pleasant. Now that would be just plain awkward. "How long ago had you seen him? Maybe he was just with a friend or something, and the two weren't dating or anything. Wait, were you two dating or just best friends?" It was possible, but Kayleigh knew Jack. He wouldn't have had his arm around just any old girl like he was that day.
"It was about..." Kayleigh paused a moment to think, twisting her lips to one side before answering. "Two years ago. Something like that... But if he is still the same guy I knew then he wouldn't have had his arm around any old person." Or kiss them... Kayleigh's over active imagination added bitterly. "But no, we weren't together. Just really close friends... He was my first - my only best friend..."
Kennedy's questions just kept coming. "What about the other person, the one whose fault it had been, has anything happened to them? Was it something large enough that the police would get involved or something?" Kayleigh gave a very loud and a very unladylike snort. Yeah right. Like her mother would have ratted out her moronic husband for her daughter.
"No way! If I know my... mother-" Kayleigh spat the word out with obvious contempt. "- as well I did then she wouldn't have ratted that dickhead out. She knew what happened alright. I told her what happened. She just laughed. Said it was all lies... Then again she would do anything to save his neck," she continued bitterly, leaning her head back against the stone wall behind her.
"How old were you when this happened?" Kayleigh breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly.
"Eighteen," she spoke quietly. "Just started to get my life on track and then that happened..." And here she was now, six years on, still struggling to let sleeping dogs lie.
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I'm speechless.
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Post by addison sophia breslin on Nov 6, 2009 22:04:15 GMT -5
Kennedy couldn't help but nod as she looked at the other girl. "You start hanging out with me and I can assure you you won't have too much free time on your hands." She joked as she looked over at the other girl trying to make her feel better. It was true though, Kennedy's life had been hectic and that was all because of her small little boy back home. "You ever want to escape you can come over and finger paint with Ryan." Kennedy scrunched her nose up just thinking about her son and the mess he could make with those finger paints. Kennedy immediately dropped her mouth as she remembered not too long ago that she had been hiding the fact that she had a son, but hoped that if Kayleigh had been listening she wouldn't put that information against her. Kennedy happened to know that most people would distance themselves from her once they had known she had a kid, but when Kayleigh needed a friend the most Kenn hoped that she could at least help her the most she could.
"Okay, okay. It was the best thing," Kennedy said never raising her voice or anything, simply keeping it quiet as she tried to calm both herself and the woman beside her. She thought that she could help her with whatever she had been going through, even though she was only twenty she had been through a lot of things in life, and maybe something would help her figure something out to help Kayleigh. That is until Kayleigh had finally let those dreaded words slip from her tongue. She had been raped, Kennedy could feel her entire body drag as she dropped back from her knees to where she was now sitting on her butt as she ran her hands through her hair unsure of what to say or do in this situation. She had been floored, she wished it could have been most anything else that had happened to the other girl. To think that she had been raped filled Kennedy was sorrow, no woman should have to go through that. She opened her mouth to say something but soon clamped it back shut as she shook her head, nothing she could say right now would make sense after a bombshell like that. She didn't want to be one of those people that said I understand what you're going through and can help because in all reality she had no idea what the other had gone through. The most she knew about rape had been that of what she'd seen in movies and had read about in books, but she had never had the experience happen to her so honestly she could never understand.
Kennedy stood back up and started to pace around. She knew this probably wasn't helping right after the girl had said something like that, but right about now she just couldn't stop. She did look over at her each time by but she could not say something just yet. She was still trying to comprehend the information that had just been given to her. No matter how many times she replayed that sentence in her mind it did not make it any better, how could someone getting raped get easier to hear? She shook her head clearing her own thoughts and was thankful when Kayleigh started to talk again, this gave her an excuse to stop and listen without having to say something. What Kayleigh had to say though did not make Kennedy feel any better as she pretty much said straight up that her family could care less. Not only did a girl have to go through something as terrible as being raped but at the same time she had no support from loved ones to get her through. "My poor dear." Kennedy said as she stopped pacing and moved over beside her and knelt back down, though she did keep her hands off of her not sure how Kayleigh would react after she'd just said something as powerful as she had. She had no idea that what she had just said had sounded like something coming from a seventy year old woman, but now had not been the time to worry about her own words and thoughts. She wanted to say that she was sorry that kayleigh had that happen to her, but at the same time would those words mean anything to Kayleigh? Kennedy did not want to say anything right now that would upset the girl, she had to choose her words wisely, and she thought that right now staying silent and letting Kayleigh speak was the best thing. She would speak up when she needed to but for right now she just felt that it would be so much easier to just stay silent, at least for now.
When she started to talk about Jack she just nodded but at the same time she was somewhat confused. People could change, personally Kennedy had went through such a transformation from her crazy high school days to her more comforting and silent adult years with a child. Kennedy did not want to say the wrong thing but at the same time she had an idea, so she hoped that Kayleigh would not be mad with her next words. "People do change over time." She said silently taking her eyes off of the other woman, if she were to get mad at her Kennedy wanted her to know she had felt bad and wasn't trying to push any of the wrong buttons. "Maybe if you two were so close and you ran off something inside of him-" She had no idea what word to use, even though one did seem to keep coming to her mind so she decided to just blurt it out, "broke." It had made sense, when Kayleigh had been raped something inside of her had broken so to speak, so maybe after she had left he had felt the same way. Sure he had not been through what she had but at the same time losing your best friend could have quite an effect on you. "But I honestly don't know him of course, so my words right now shouldn't matter too much." She said shaking her head, she had no idea about this man but at the same time she thought it had made at least partial sense. Kennedy could feel her heart flop once more when the girl had spoke about him being her only friend. "Things have a funny way of working themselves out," She said letting her hand slip over to the girls shoulder to cup it. She hoped that she could prove to be a friend here, but at the same time she did believe that if him and her were that close there could be a time when they were together again. Maybe not for ten or more years but eventually if their friendship had been that strong they would find each other again, fate had a funny way of working things out like that.
That next bit had Kennedy confused. "Was he someone close to your mother?" Kennedy wanted to blurt out that from the way things sounded her mother appeared to be a bitch, who would do that to their own daughter? The thought alone pissed Kennedy off, mothers were supposed to be there for their daughters through everything so why in the world would her mother be like that? "If you're mother is like that she doesn't deserve you," Kennedy said sharply, the thought alone still making her fume. Her mother and her had such a great relationship and when her mother died it killed a part of Kennedy, so mothers were a sensitive subject for the small blonde. The last little bit made Kennedy shut up once more, eighteen and still struggling? She could only imagine what was going through Kayleighs mind right now. "How long have you been running? I am glad you stopped here, maybe you coming here was a sign of fate or something." Maybe Kennedy had met her because she was supposed to help her through something, but how could she? She knew that just being there could serve some purpose but could it be enough? She had no idea but she was willing to find out.
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