( MIDNIGHT SANCTUARY )(open)

[scaraloaf]

I'd like to raise you high
'Cause I think everyone deserves the chance to fly

“You start hanging out with me and I can assure you, you won't have too much free time on your hands.” Kayleigh gave a small, watery chuckle. It lifted the tension that gripped her, but it was only a small relief. Regret still had a firm hold over her heart. “You ever want to escape you can come over and finger paint with Ryan.” Kayleigh gave a half smile, not really taking in what Kennedy was saying. She remained silent for a moment before answering quietly. “I would like that.” She looked up at Kennedy. “I hope you don’t mind permanent houseguests,” she added hoping to somewhat lighten a sombre moment.

Kayleigh felt Kennedy pulling away. It was exactly what she had feared when she imagined telling someone the truth about that dreadful night. People would think her a freak and simply leave her alone, afraid they would catch something. But Kayleigh didn’t have anything – at least nothing that was contagious. Just a severely broken heart and a low self esteem issue. It hadn’t helped that she had kept her rape to herself for all these years, letting it eat at her insides. She remembered the voices inside her heard battling everything out; one voice constantly telling Kayleigh to speak out about it and do something – anything, no matter how small. But the other voice inside her kept telling her that no one would believe anything she had to say. That she was worthless and no one cared about her. The proof had been in the treatment she had received from her parents. They didn’t care for her. Her mother always sided with that dickhead of a husband of hers and he was just a dick, through and through. The things he had done… Just thinking about it all made Kayleigh feel physically sick. She needed to stop thinking about it all – that wasn’t going to help either. She really needed to let go of it all and move on. But that was a lot easier said than done.

“My poor dear.” Kayleigh felt Kennedy kneel back down beside her; that simple act made Kayleigh feel a whole lot better. She suddenly didn’t feel alone anymore. Kennedy had accepted what had happened and was willing to stand by Kayleigh no matter what. For that, Kayleigh was grateful: more than grateful. They had only met twice and Kayleigh had already told Kennedy something she had never told anyone before. Could she have finally found that friend she had always wanted? Someone she had never had since Jack.

“People do change over time.” Kayleigh turned her head sharply to look at Kennedy. What was she trying to say? Kayleigh wanted to argue back, to fight but there was nothing left to fight with. That had been lost for a long time and she had to concede that Kennedy was right. Maybe Jack had changed and moved on with his life? Kayleigh couldn’t really blame him. “Maybe if you two were so close and you ran off something inside of him… broke.” Kayleigh looked away sadly, feeling the moisture gathering behind her eyes again. She squeezed them shut, desperate to stop them from falling. She had been so selfish. She had only thought of herself when she had left New York. Was it possible that Kayleigh had broken Jack too by not answering him or calling him back? Jack was always the strong one of them both, the one who always had all the answers. She couldn’t really just call him up out of the blue and go “Hey Jack, how are you? Yeah, the reason I ran away was because I was raped.”

“But I honestly don’t know him of course, so my words right now shouldn’t matter too much.” Kayleigh chewed on the inside of her lower lip while Kennedy continued. “Things have a funny way of working themselves out.” Kayleigh reached her own pale hand up to cover Kennedy’s one, which cupped her shoulder. “I know… I just… I hate knowing that I could have told him and possibly prevented all this from happening. I hate thinking that it’s possible that I hurt him… He was always so strong and… Just… He wasn’t the type to get upset I guess.”

Kayleigh scratched the back of her head, feeling the beginning of a raging headache. She needed to stop thinking so much. It always made her feel worse. Kennedy’s next question threw Kayleigh even more. It was one thing to admit that she had been sexually abused, but to admit who had done it? That would really open the floodgates.

“Was he someone close to your mother?”

Kayleigh’s jaw tightened and she gritted her teeth. He was close to her mother –too close. And he was the world’s biggest dick. “You could say that…” she said sourly, her nostrils flaring in anger. “He was a little too close for comfort… What she ever saw in him I will never know… But I should have guessed that she would always pick her… husband-” Kayleigh spat the word out with as much venom as she could; the word was enough to make her spew her guts “- over her child. Even when said daughter tells her that her husband is a rapist…” Kayleigh knew she was implicating herself but she was past caring by now. The floodgates had been opened and there was no stopping anything that was going to come out. It had been held in for so long and now that Kayleigh had finally acknowledged what had happened the only way to make her feel better was to let it all out.

“If you're mother is like that she doesn't deserve you.” Kayleigh’s rant was cut short. She had never had anyone tell her that before. She was used to people insulting her and treading all over her as if she were nothing more than a spec of dirt that had been brought in the house. She had only ever known the abuse that her mother and father had shown her and didn’t know any better. When she was younger, Kayleigh had been positive that the reason for her treatment was because she had done something wrong and deserved to be punished. But as she had gotten older she realised that she had done nothing wrong and it was merely the result of her parents lashing out during their drink-induced slash drug induced stupor. In a way, leaving New York had been a blessing as well as a curse.

“How long have you been running? I am glad you stopped here, maybe you coming here was a sign of fate or something.”

“Six years,” Kayleigh supplied. “Six long and depressing years.”

[/size]

[addison sophia breslin]

Kennedy had been thankful that she had gotten the girl to at least give out a minor drenched chuckle, but as she made her comment Kennedy shook her head with a small smile spread across her lips. "No, of course not. It's just me and Ryan in that big house, I wouldn't mind permanent guests at all." Kennedy would love having someone there to talk to and she knew that Kayleigh had needed that more than anything right now, just to talk and get it all out in the open. She couldn't talk to just anyone though, Kennedy had felt proud that Kayleigh had trusted her enough. She just hoped that she could do the right thing and figure out someway to help her.

She hated how she could not find the right words to tell the girl, and as she was sort of trying to figure things out she could hear Kayleigh being entirely quiet. She had caught the glimpses in her direction a few times, but since pacing had not been helping the situation Kennedy did walk back over and go back to kneeling beside her newfound friend. When she heard Kayleigh finally start to talk it had been about how Jack had been the strong one out of the two of them, and how she could not see him getting weak. "Sometimes men hide their true feelings thinking that we want them to be nothing more than tough and strong, maybe he tried to be that strong man you needed in your life when he was really soft on the inside?" She was not even sure if that had made much sense but this entire night had been something she hadn't expected, her brain just could not process much of anything after Kayleigh had told her about the rape. "Maybe he just thought you needed him to be tough, did you?" She asked randomly looking at the other woman, had she had a life that required her to have that firm solid man by her side to help her through each day?

She had a feeling since her parents weren't much help maybe Jack had picked up that protective role, it made sense in her head but Kenn just wasn't sure how to put it out there in words. She knew she had to be calm and collected tonight and pick and choose her words, and so far she had thought she was doing alright because kayleigh hadn't ran from her yet. When Kenn had seen the womans mood change to pure anger and resentment she had known that was the most sensitive topic, of course since he had been the one that had raped her in the first place. How in the world could a mother choose her husbands side over daughters? Kennedy could not understand that, "Maybe it is a good thing that you got away from there. She doesn't sound like a mother you should be proud of," She said slowly unsure if Kayleigh would be pissed at her for saying that. She had been her damn mother though and didn't even act that way, Kennedy felt so bad for Kayleigh sitting there in tears.

And then the worst of it had all came as Kayleigh answered Kenn about how long she had been running. Six years, she could only imagine how hurt inside Kayleigh must have been not having anyone to open up to for six long years. She let out a sigh dropping her butt to the ground so she wasn't kneeling anymore, and soon she picked her knees up so she could wrap her arms around them and look at her. "That seems like too long, how are you still functioning?" she asked knowing that it must have been hard on her. Maybe meeting up and letting Kennedy in on the situation would make her start to feel better, she had Kennedy now that she could talk to whenever she needed her. "I am here now, I may not be the best but I can listen really good," She nodded looking at the woman sitting there.

"Okay since it has been that long I think what should happen is you should just let it all out, right here right now, just tell me whatever is on your mind and maybe you could finally get a good nights sleep?" She asked looking over at the other woman. Depending on the state that she would leave Kayleigh in tonight she might just invite her to stay at her place, she had three extra bedrooms in her mothers house that were just wasting away, and since the girl really needed a friend right now Kenn would do everything in her power to give her one. "I have to admit that I did not expect this when I brought you up here, but maybe you were just ready to explode and such a calming place brought it all to a head or something?" She tried making a calm conversation to go along with the heavy one that they had going on, but she was sure it probably wasn't going to work.