Just Leave It In The Past...Right? (Aiden & Steph)

[lance warren wright]

Aiden wheeled in and placed his sunglasses on top of his head. He sighed as he checked in at the front desk and took a seat in the waiting room. As he reached into his back pocket he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He placed one inbetween his lips and was about to light it as he heard a grunt next to him. He looked to his right to see an officer standing by one of the doors pointing to a sign that said in bold red 'No Smoking'. Aiden looked at the cop and sighed slowly removing the cigarette from his lips and placing it back in the carton.

'Great now I can't even calm my nerves'.

He shoved the pack back in his pocket and twiddled his thumbs as he waited for two thirty to roll around. He always showed up early to these things to show "commitment" so he could be released from mandatory shows. He was tired of coming and reliving what he had seen in Iraq. As if he didn't have a constant reminder that hindered his left leg.
Aiden wasn't going to be able to walk for a good year or so the doctors told him. He had to go to rehabilitation to try and walk and counseling sessions to talk about stuff. He checked his watch and saw he had showed earlier than he had thought. Aiden wheeled his wheelchair back and forth to try and amuse him though he was sure he looked like a little kid with ADHD.

[stephanie michelle davis]

Steph had felt ackward about having to come to the counceling center today, she'd worn a black jacket over a white top with dark blue jeans and some adidas sneakers to complete the outfit, but she had to in order to get the necessary papers for the report she had to do on schizophrenia. She knew she could get a lot of the stuff she needed online, but after calling and talking to the receptionist she thought it'd be good to go and get a firsthand account from someone who helps people live with those disorders.

Still it felt weird as she walked slowly up the steps into the office, her hands stuffed in her pocket so she wouldn't show her nerves, and soon she pulled the door open quick and made her way into the office. She did a quick survey not noticing any of the faces that were there and walked to the front desk. "Steph Davis, I have a 2:45 with Arnoldson I think his name is." The receptionist nodded and motioned her to take a seat, he'd be with her shortly.

She let out a heavy sigh as she walked over to the first available chair and sat down, still not noticing anyone that she knew thankfully, and closed her eyes not wanting to be here right now so trying to envision somewhere else. She thought about being on the soccer field right now, the slight breeze as she ran down the field, and her nerves started to calm themselves down.

[lance warren wright]

Aiden had been sitting there a ball of nerves twiddling his thumbs as the clock ticked past. As if an eternity past he heard the door to the office open and didn't dare look up. He was embarrassed to be here and the more people that looked over him the better. Though as he heard the girl who had walked in and spoke to the receptionist something clicked in his head. He slowly looked up and noticed a slim girl with those strong yet sexy legs he had always loved. Aiden had felt a grin come to his lips but quickly removed it. He saw her start to look around again and quickly averted her eyes. He didn't want her to see him there....in a wheelchair...smoking cigarettes. He had picked up the bad habit ever since he had become sober, not that smoking was any better.

Aiden placed the sunglasses over his eyes so the redness of insomnia wouldn't be seen if Steph happened to realize who he was. Aiden checked his watch again and it had only been a minute. He cursed under his breath wanting time to go by faster. He wanted to get in the meeting and get out without having to face Steph.

When Steph finally finished speaking with the receptionist Aiden was staring straight into his lap attempting to hide his face. As Steph walked to the open chair he couldn't help but notice she walking right at him. As she sat down Aiden took in her scent it was a very familiar one in which again the grin returned to his lips. He realized he wouldn't be able to avoid her sitting so near and still having to wait fifteen minutes or more, his counselor was never good with starting on time. "Soo, long time no see Davis." He uttered in a husky voice as he slowly looked over at the beautiful girl moving his sunglasses once more to the top of his head.

[stephanie michelle davis]

Somebody was talking to Steph but she couldn't recognize the voice, and at this moment she was afraid to open her eyes and look to see who it was. She took one deep breathe and tried to pull her lids apart to see the person, but that'd didn't work as they stayed glued shut in fear of who exactly it could be. She finally decided it'd be better to just mature and look at who had been talking to her. She took one more deep breathe and opened her eyes looking towards where the voice had been.

The face looked familiar and the voice made her all the more sure it had been Aiden, but what would she say to him right now? She'd prefer to slap him in the face for leaving this past time for over a year, she hated getting close to him just to have him leave her again without any word on where he'd be or when he'd be home. She couldn't hit him though because her eyes dropped to the steel contraption on the floor supporting him, he had been in a wheelchair? The best male soccer player to her had been in a wheel chair? "Is this a joke?" She asked not sure if she was hallucinating seeing him like this, and if she were she was in the best place to do so.

She shook her head turning away from him trying to get the thought that he might actually be back out of her head. That wasn't her Aiden, something was wrong, but for some reason she had to turn towards him again this time bringing her entire body to face him so she'd at least be comfortable in one of the stupid office chairs. She took her hand and ran it across the stubble on his cheek knowing that he had infact been there sitting beside her, and a small smile crept across her face, and she took her hand back to rest on her own lap. "What happened?" She asked softly not even saying hello yet.

[lance warren wright]

Aiden looked down at his wheelchair and whispered a quick, "I wish it was a joke." He hated this damn thing the only thing that kept him going was the day he would be able to stand and walk away from it. He hated being confined to this stupid chair his legs were still so strong, but that one bullet that ended it for him. The doctor's had told him it had been his physical shape that had kept him from being paralyzed completely also a bit of luck. He didn't want to look back up the face she had made was one of disbelief. He knew she was sick of him coming in and out of her life, but this time he knew he was here to stay. He couldn't be drafted into the army anymore since he left on injury and the army never wants any defects.

When Steph's hand brushed his face he closed his eyes feeling the warmth of the delicate hand. He wanted to reach over and just kiss her like nothing had happened between them. Though he knew that couldn't happen....not now at least. He finally saw a brilliant smile flash on her lips he couldn't help but feel his lips upturn into a smile as well. He felt his stomach flop as he looked at the beautiful girl. Oh how he had missed her.

"And hello to you to." He smirked knowing she had skipped right over it to get the details on why he was where he was. "I was shot..." he explained quickly knowing he would have to explain as he saw Steph's shocked face, "...I was asked to serve our country so I went into the army which is why I had to leave suddenly," well that got that part out of the way, "...while I was on a mission I was shot and temporarily placed in this damn thing." He said hitting the wheel lightly with his fist. He looked up at her face tracing it with his eyes. She hadn't changed and he was glad for it. He reached over and brushed the bangs away from her eyes and then quickly withdrew not knowing if that was ok.

[stephanie michelle davis]

Yeah Stephanie was shocked, who wouldn't be after hearing that the man that she'd had so many feelings for had been shot, but at least he'd went right into explaining so she wouldn't have to be too worried. When he said he had to leave suddenly to serve his country, she had a feeling that'd meant he'd joined the military, but still he couldn't have made even a small phonecall telling her he had to go? She was in the middle of an office, there were few other people in the waiting room, so she didn't want to get too loud but she still wanted him to know that she was upset with him.

"You couldn't even had called? Just leave me hanging not knowing where the hell you were?" She whispered looking right into his eyes, boy the guy had gorgeous eyes but she couldn't get distracted. When he had brushed the bangs out of her face she quickly withdrew from his touch not wanting him close to her at that moment. "Do you know what I thought when you had left? Do you know that every fricken person in my life just leaves without warning? Do you know what happens when the person you lo-" she stopped, she couldn't even say the word right now to him. She looked around to make sure nobody was watching, thankfully they weren't since she'd been talking so softly.

"You don't do that," She said with a hint of sadness in her voice. "Not to me you don't, not after everything Aiden." She said, that being the first time in quite a while that she had spoke his name. She had thought about him a lot, that was a fact, but seeing him here right now just wasn't what she was expecting. "And how long have you been back? No phonecall letting me know you were around? What the hell, Aiden?" Yes, she was very upset right now but she was holding her voice down, that was good at least.

[lance warren wright]

Aiden felt his heart tear a bit though he knew he deserved it. He had left her again with no word or anything. When she withdrew from him he felt terrible. He had left her and hurt her two things he said he would never do again. He was just praying she would give him another chance. He couldn't not have her in his life. She was his other half he knew that. When she almost uttered the word love he looked up hopefully, but when she cut off he went back to looking down at his hands. He rubbed his buzzed hair which was growing back since he had been discharged. "I know and i'm sorry for that. I also know sorry isn't enough for you Steph, but it's all I can give at the moment. I promise you I will be there for you...if you let me." He said quietly as he looked at her examining her face again.

"I regret not calling you and I thought about you every day I had been away. I always seem to hurt the person I care for..." He wanted to say love but knew it was too much for her at the moment. She was still trying to soak in his presence. "I have been a selfish person and I deserve every bit of doubt you have in me from this point on. I'm sorry Steph I really and truly am." He clasped his hands together from keeping himself from reaching out to touch her. She wasn't ready for that yet and he would refrain for the time being.

Aiden...she had finally said his name and he felt his stomach flop one more time. It brought up so many good memories to hear his name escape from her lips. "I've been in town for a week...." He said knowing he had wanted to call her the moment he had gotten back but he couldn't get himself to do it. He felt fire burn up in him when he looked at his useless legs, "and I didn't call because I didn't want you to see me like this.....not like this." He whispered the last part quietly as he felt tears well. He wouldn't cry not again. He had so many times already he hated himself for being so careless.

"I didn't want anyone to see me like this..." He said again, "...but especially you I couldn't bare it."

[stephanie michelle davis]

"What makes you think I need someone?" She asked looking back at him for just a minute before bringing her attention to the clock on the wall. Why did the time not seem to move at all? She let out a sigh as she just looked at her hands that were settled nicely into her lap. "I think I have done good on my own," She started again making sure to make eye contact with him this time, she had to let him know that she could handle things. "I've even started making friends and everything, right after you left I shut the world out and finally lately i've been getting more social." What a time for him to come back, Steph had just started getting out and hanging out having a good time with people, and then he'd walk back in expecting things to go right back to where they were in the first place. How could he do that to her?

"After all you have seen me go through you'd think you'd know what not saying anything would do to me, and yet you still did it." She shook her head looking back down at her hands. She wanted to tear up, just to cry to let the emotions out the easiest way she knew how, but she couldn't show too much weakness sitting next to him. She didn't remember ever crying infront of Aiden and wouldn't start now, not over something like this. At least he was home and safe right? Wrong, that didn't change the fact that he'd done that to Steph. She sure was sounding selfish right now but she had every reason to be, he had killed her when he'd left without warning.

"So what?" She said, her voice spiking just a bit as she looked around at the people who had brought their attention to her, so she knew she had to calm back down to a whisper. "You were going to wait until you were out of that thing, god knows how far away that'd be, and just call and then what? I can't believe you'd think i'd look at you any less for that damn thing, if that is what you thought then you don't know me at all." She said simply looking from him knowing she was about to tear up but she held onto herself. Come on clock, move a freaking muscle already.

[lance warren wright]

Aiden knew he had done everything wrong. Gone about it the wrong way, "I didn't think you'd see me differently. I can't stand myself Steph!" He said raising his voice and bit. "I hate myself for being confined to this damn thing. I wasn't going to call you at all..ever truth be told. I figure me out of your life is the best damn thing I could do for you. Like you just said you are making friends and having fun. It was an unfortunate consequence I ran into you today." He said angry with himself as he clenched his fist and gritted his teeth together. He couldn't bring his eyes to her not this time. He had felt a hot tear roll down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away and went on with his talking as he raised his head and looked at the wall across the room.

"You don't need anyone. You're a strong, confident, and amazing woman. I only hinder everything that you are. I can't do that to you." He said as if to convince himself that he had to stay away from her. He wanted her to be happy and obviously he wasn't the person to do that as badly as he wanted to be. He wanted to have not left her and stayed in her life. He knew that they could have been really happy with each other but he had left again without say and she had every right to be mad at him. He felt blood come from his tongue as he realized he had been biting down on it so hard. He finally released his clenched hand feeling the blood flow back in them.

"So therefore I wasn't going to call....i've wanted to since I left and I knew I couldn't...I care for you Steph I truly do but i've only caused you harm and I can't do that anymore." He wanted to just wheel out of the office and leave. He didn't want her to look at him anymore he was pathetic. He finally looked back at her to see how his words of self loathing took effect on her. He finally told her how she felt about himself that he was a terrible guy who was like a parasite on her life. He loved her so much it hurt him but he knew it was best to stay away yet here he was not being able to 'walk' away in a matter of speaking.

[stephanie michelle davis]

Steph couldn't believe what she was hearing right now, he was honestly never going to call her again? After all that the two had been through together? After all that the two had done together? After all of the feelings the two had shared? She couldn't even stand to say something right now, no word she could utter would make up for what he had just said, so with that she slumped further into her chair not understanding what to do at this moment. She could just get up and walk out of the building, she didn't need the information the man was going to give her, but something kept her glued to that chair sitting next to Aiden.

"I needed you, one way or another Aiden, I needed you there for me." She said simple and without hesitation looking back over at him for a moment. "I needed you to let me in on what was going on, I could have helped since you've been home, I would have done whatever I needed to in order to help you, but you wouldn't accept it? Don't you think i'd at least owe you that much for all you'd done for me?" She took a breathe after running off all those sentences as though they were one. "You just don't get it do you? Selfish, that's all you are Aiden, selfish."

Again she was at a loss of words when he said he wasn't going to call, not at all and he'd just leave her life forever, and that was the worst part of this entire thing. The fact that he'd be able to just leave her life after telling her he cared about her more than anything. "I don't believe you," she said after he'd told her he cared about her. "If you did you wouldn't have done what you've done." She let out a sigh closing her eyes wanting to be anywhere but here at this moment, but it was sort of nice that she'd gotten to go there just to know he was around.

[lance warren wright]

"No!" he exclaimed slamming his fist down on his armchair. "I only drag you down Steph! You don't understand..." He said placing a hand over his face and taking in a deep breath to keep the tears from flowing. "Yeah you could have been around to help but I left you...i've hurt you and I can't stand myself for that." He took another deep breath though a few tears slipped out and rolled down his cheeks. He looked over at her red eyes and all and shook his head once angry at himself, "You're amazing and I can't believe i've hurt you the way I have. I'm undeserving of you and I honestly didn't think you would ever want to see me again. I know you're an amazing person and I love every little thing about you." There he had said it the words love escaped his lips.

He saw her shy away from him when he said it and he couldn't take it. He wheeled away from the wall and pulled up in front of her their legs leaning against each other. He took one of her hands in both of his and looked at her in the eyes. She looked away but he lifted her chin softly to look back at her eyes, "I love you Stephanie Davis, but I don't think you want me back even if we just start off as friends again. I realize my mistake for not contacting you and I was stupid to think this damn contraption would come between us." He said as if it all just fell into place for him. He was a complete idiot.

He knew he came off strong but that was one of the only ways he knew how. He squeezed her hand lightly as he waited for a response from the girl knowing he had thrown a lot out there. "I promise you with all of my heart I will not leave you again. I understand though if you don't want to see me for my irrational behavior. I just had to let you know how I feel about you and that I have been selfish in the past but I thought it would be better for you when I left." He said sighing knowing he was probably making a fool out himself.

[stephanie michelle davis]

When he had wheeled infront of her of course she looked away, but when he'd put his hand against her chin to have her focus she just wanted to nuzzle into it, but she stayed strong and just watched him as he talked. When he squeezed her hand her fingers just stayed limp not doing anything in return, she couldn't after he'd thrown all that out there at her. He had loved her and was willing to leave and never return to her life? To her that was not love at all, but she didn't say anything about that.

"Stephanie Davis," the man came out and called her name telling her he was ready to have her in his office now. Without saying anything Steph just looked at Aiden once more, blinked letting a stray tear fall from the corner of her eye, and she maneuvered her way around him in his chair to get up and over him. She didn't say anything to him, didn't even look back at his as she made her way into the office followed by the psychiatrist.

An hour had passed since she'd started talking to him and she'd emerged with a folder full of papers about the disorder she'd been studying. She knew she'd be stuck in her room for quite some time reading through these, but having all this information pretty much assured her that she'd get an A. When she walked into the lobby she didn't see Aiden there anymore, either he was still in the office or he'd left already, so she made her way out of the building and down the steps. She wanted to look at her papers before she left though so she sat on the bench right off of the steps and opened the folder as she started flipping through the pages.

[lance warren wright]

Aiden let his head fall as she got up and left without a word. He had just thrown a lot out there and wasn't getting anything in return. He knew he deserved this heartache since he had caused her the same pain. He sighed as he waited fifteen more minutes until he had to go speak with his counselor. He emerged pissed off actually he had already be sad and his counselor was pressing him on ever issue he just wanted to scream. He called the meeting early and said he'd be back in a few days. He rolled out silently and placed his sunglasses over his eyes. He got out of the building and quickly put a cigarette in between his lips and lighting it inhaling quickly. He felt his body relax and he exhaled. He needed this so he could try and get his head straight. He used the handicap ramp and rolled down to see Steph sitting on a bench.

Aiden sighed as he rolled over to her and saw the humongous file, "Looks like you've got a lot to read up on." He said trying to make simple conversation as he wheeled to the side of the bench. He wanted to lift himself up on the bench but knew that would be too close to Steph. He didn't have a car so he'd have to 'walk' back to his place anyway and he felt as if he had no energy left in him so maybe attempting to talk to Steph again would turn for the better...he doubted it. "Look if you don't want to talk to me right now just let me know and i'll be on my way I promise." He said quietly looking over at her his eyes hidden luckily so the hope that was shining in them that she would want him to stay was not to be seen.

OOC: didn't know if you wanted to continue the thread or not

[stephanie michelle davis]

Steph had heard the wheelchair down the ramp and let out a soft sigh, so he hadn't left already and they were right back together again. She looked over at him and her mouth dropped seeing the cigarette in his mouth. "You've got to be kidding me," she said putting the papers down beside her and pulling the cigarette from between his lips. She threw it to the ground and crushed it, she didn't want to see him smoking and hoped he wouldn't just light another one. "anything else you're doing now that I need to know about?" She said, sort of sharp in her words letting him know that she was getting aggravated.

She sat back down and pulled the papers back into her lap but couldn't stay focused on what was infront of her so she had to look back over at him. Something about him kept drawing her in, she didn't know if it was just the fresh air or something, but for a moment she had a clear head. "So how long you have to be in that thing?" She asked slowly looking at the chair.

[lance warren wright]

Aiden felt the cigarette being torn from his lips. He had been in the middle of an exhale and just coughed the rest as she stamped it out. He shook his head, "Nope drinking's in the past, but I did pick up that nasty habit." He said shrugging his shoulders knowing it was bad but he couldn't help it it calmed his nerves and that was all he was wanting these past weeks. He wasn't going to light another seeing how it aggravated her and that was the last thing he was trying to do. He felt like one of those short guys as he looked at Steph when she had got up. That bugged him a bit but he quickly shook it off trying not to think about it.

Aiden looked up at the sky when she asked the question. He then shrugged as he looked over at her, "Till I can find my strength to walk." He said not knowing when that would be. He had skipped his last two physical therapy sessions having been not in the mood to go. "The doctors say if I really try I could be walking in less than a year." He said implying he wasn't trying and he knew it. He hated the damn thing but was too depressed about the entire situation to do anything about it. Which now that he thought about it was dumb but he didn't care.