Passed Out Perfection [ kenn & lance ]

[stephanie michelle davis]

When they had gotten Cassidy onto the stretcher they had elevated her feet and one of the paramedics had grabbed the smelling salt. It took only a few seconds after that for Kennedy to jolt back awake. She looked around not recognizing anything, the last thing she remembered was being in her room with Lance. Had he hit her? She slowly moved a hand to her face trying to feel for a sore spot, but the only one she could feel was on the back of her head from where she'd fallen earlier. "Where am I? What're you doing to me?" She asked softly, her throat feeling very harsh and soar.

One of the paramedics calmed her down by telling her that he'd spoken to Lance already, this being the time that Kenn looked over to see him sitting there beside her, and that Lance had told him everything that had happened during the night. The slip and fall, the dizzy spells, and her actually passing out entirely later. "I'm fine though, just a little pale but the color should come back." She didn't want to be in this ambulance but it had been too late, the thing had already been moving and she was too weak to jump from it. Again the paramedic she'd been talking to told her that it'd be better to have an examination done, that the gentleman with her had said the fall had been a pretty bad one, so he'd feel better knowing she'd been looked at before just letting her out of the vehicle.

She let out a sigh, there was no chance in hell they were going to stop this for her, so she just quietly looked over towards Lance as the medics went and placed the IV needle into her hand reaching a vein for when there'd be an IV, if she'd needed one, once she had reached the hospital. "You didn't have to come," She said softly and slowly wanting a drink so bad but not knowing if they had anything in the ambulance. "I'm just, dehydrated or something. Nothing serious." She had a slight smile pressing against her lips though, she'd thought that he had done a good thing for her even though he could have probably woken her right up in her room and avoided this entire mess, but he thought he was doing the right thing so it sort of felt good to see the extremes he'd go to in order to keep her safe and healthy.

Kennedy quickly moved sharply knowing she had no pockets on her and that her phone had been up in the room still, and all too soon she had a look of worry appear on her face. Here she was laying here and the only way to get in touch with her son and aunt was sitting in her hotel room, what if something had happened to the boy? Kennedy would not tell her aunt about this episode, she'd insist that Kenn stay there to be watched for a while, and Kennedy didn't prefer to be away from Point Pleasant. She heard as the ambulance made a sharp turn and she could see the hospital come into view through the windows, and with the help of the paramedics they let her sit up. She told them she didn't want the stretcher so they had someone bring out a wheelchair, as to her request, and once they were stopped they picked Kennedy up and passed her down to position her in the chair not wanting her to walk just yet.

"Might as well stick around for the rest of my visit," She said looking back at Lance still in shock he'd gone through all that just for a small fainting episode, but he seemed to be the type of person who would do that for anyone right? Or was Kennedy special and he'd freaked out because he'd though he was losing her? She didn't know and thinking hurt her head so she just leaned her head back closing her eyes as they wheeled her into her room and helped her into the bed. The nurse came in and connected the rest of the IV to the girls hand and put the drip to slow. She then told Kennedy she'd give her some pain killers for the bumps and bruises she'd had from her fall, so she gave her two pills to swallow. The small amount of water that she'd given her to take the pills had helped her soar throat a little, but not as much as she would have liked it too. Kenn layed back in the bed relaxed, not wanting to be here at the moment, but knowing that she had to have been because Lance had called. "You worry about all the girls you come in contact with like that?" She asked with a slight chuckle looking up at him briefly. "Or am I special?" She couldn't wait for those pills to start working, maybe they'd put her to sleep and she could avoid this situation. She wanted to stay calm in the hospital with him though, especially since he'd done what he did for her when he didn't have to.

[lance warren wright]

Lance knew he had probably over reacted but he wanted to make sure she was alright. That fall could have been more fatal than just a mere concussion. He let go of her hand once she came to not wanting to upset her while she needed to relax until they got to the hospital. Lance laced his fingers together as he looked out the front window of the ambulance to keep his eyes from landing on Kennedy. It was proving to be a hard task considered how worried he was about her even though she said she was fine. She had said she was fine after the fall and the walk up to the hotel room so he didn't trust her at this point. Lance watched the paramedic work over Kennedy as she protested. Lance couldn't help but feel a tug at his lip as a small smile appeared. Even when she was in obvious pain and had just passed out she was as stubborn as ever. As he saw Kennedy's eyes move to his he couldn't make the smile go away, but he did look away from her so she wouldn't catch him looking at her.

As they got there Lance stayed in the ambulance as they worked to get Kennedy out of there while on the stretcher. They then transferred her to the wheelchair he slowly hopped out running a hand through his hair. Lance pulled out his phone to check if he had any text messages or calls missed by someone. Nope, nothing. He was kind of glad no one was trying to contact him right now because it wasn't like he could just leave Kennedy stranded at the hospital. When he heard Kennedy finally speak to him he was surprised they weren't harsh words. He nodded silently as she told him he should just stick around. He had planned on it not even her stubbornness could make him leave at this point.

Lance would fill the papers out for her so she didn't have to worry about that. He was about to go to the front desk, but he saw them wheel her into a room and he followed after her. He figured he should help her get settled in before abandoning her to fill out papers. He took a seat in an armchair in the corner closest to the bed. He watched as the nurse hooked up IV's to her. Lance had been all too familiar with hospitals he in fact hated them. He had gotten in so many injuries in lacrosse and woken up in a pale white room.

Lance smiled a bit as she asked him if he would do this for any girl. He thought about his answer for a minute and shook his head, "Just you." He said simply not wanting to get all sappy on her or anything. He had noticed her voice was soft and weak he figured he could get her something to drink, "You want me to get you some more water?" He asked concerned as he lifted his eyes up from the floor to meet hers for the first time since the hotel room.

[stephanie michelle davis]

She rolled her eyes at his comment, just you, who did he think he was anyway saying stuff like that? And what made him think he had to do this for her tonight? She would have woken up and she could have went and rested in her bed, that is all she probably needed, but instead she'd been poked and prodded having to lay on the most uncomfortable bed ever. She hated the hospital and yet here she was, with lance by her side, and to her that felt more ackward then when they were in the bedroom at the hotel. What she would give to be back at the hotel right now, he would have left and she would have been fine alone, or at least she thought she would be fine alone.

When asked about a drink she nodded bringing her attention to him as he stood. "Gingerale maybe?" She asked softly, her voice cracking from her throat hurting now. She waited until he had left the room and grabbed the phone that was next to the bed, she knew patients were allowed to make phonecalls out of the building (as long as it were local), so she quickly pressed 9 to signal an outgoing call and died her aunts number up quick. "Come on, come on, pick up, pick up." She spoke into the phone as it started to ring, she wanted to make this call while he was out of the room.

When she heard her aunt answer Kenn started to talk, she was going to lie to her right now and didn't want Lance to hear. "Hey, uh, I wanted to call because work ended up needing me to come in." She said, an obvious lie since she'd been sitting in the hospital right now. "Yeah, so uh, I might not be there for breakfast, but maybe I could bring over something for a lunch? How is he anyway? Oh he did, that is great. What about the blanket? Not too much milk before bed?" She was asking her aunt all these questions about her son, she wanted to make sure he was happy right now, but of course her aunt said there was nothing to worry about and that he was sound asleep. "Thanks, I will be there hopefully by tomorrow afternoon for lunch. My treat, okay I gotta go i'm walking into the diner now. Bye." She quickly hung the phone up putting it back where it belonged as she let out a sigh leaning back on the bed.

Lance had walked back in just as she was fumbling to get the phone situated, and luckily he had that soda for her. She quickly extended her hand wanting it, and as soon as he'd given it to her she drank it down, slow though cause she didn't want a bubble to get caught in her throat. That hurt like hell when she'd drink soda fast. "Thank you," was all that she said to him this time not wanting, or knowing for that matter, what to say to him.

[lance warren wright]

"Sorry for caring...." He said quietly rolling his eyes as he looked at the floor. He never could say the right thing around her anymore. He was almost done trying. He was sick of it truthfully. He deserved it but there was only so much someone could take from another person. He got up and placed his hands in his short pockets as he headed out of the room. Once out there he took a deep breath and let it out gathering his thoughts again. He calmed himself so he wouldn't have another outburst that was unneeded. He walked to one of the soda machines and looked at the list. He pulled his wallet out and pulled a one out. He pushed it in and punched the ginger ale button. He grabbed it out of the bottom and headed back to his room, but in no hurry. He would probably get up and walk out the next time Kennedy decided to be a smart ass.

Lance would take care of this hospital bill since he had over reacted and it was his fault he was lying in the bed right now. He got creeped out as he walked and saw a sick kid being rushed to an emergency room. He couldn't stand seeing people in dire states. He picked up his pace a bit more as he headed back into Kennedy's room. He handed her the soda and just nodded as she gave him a thanks he didn't think she would say. He didn't sit down in the arm chair this time he walked over to a couch type deal at the other side of the room. This way he had more space and wasn't as close to her. He leaned back and let out a sigh as he looked up at the ceiling. He reached up and scratched his goatee as he felt uncomfortable in the silence.

He tried to think of something to say, but he didn't want to say anything because it would probably trigger an argument with her and he didn't want to cause a scene here. "Sorry for over reacting." he said gesturing to the bed she was laying in with a nod of his head. "Just didn't want to be the reason something bad had happened to you and trust me you would have freaked out too if you had known your pulse went weak when you passed out." He said not even looking in her general direction as he spoke to her.

[stephanie michelle davis]

Kenn took another drink, her throat had felt better so she could slow down, and closed her eyes letting this entire night sink in. The pain killers were working right now, she could feel her entire body starting to relax and the pain was now just dull, but she was sure once the pills kicked in fully she'd be better all-together. Well physical pain-wise, the emotional spectrum would still be entirely confused like it had been right now. "Is that normal?" She asked curiously looking at him when he said her pulse had gotten weak. She hadn't fainted before, that she could remember anyway, so she didn't know what normally would happen to the body. "How long was I out?" She asked trying to keep up a conversation that didn't revolve around what they had been discussing at the hotel.

Before Lance had time to answer the doctor came in to examine Kenn, he went and looked at the rather large bump on the back of her head since that had been the biggest thing he was concerned about, but of course he checked blood pressure and all of her vital signs. He told her that she still seemed just a bit pale so he wanted to keep her there for a little while, but he said that if things started looking better she would be able to go home and not have to spend the night. She thanked him for that, she hated sleeping in hospital beds and remembered having to stay in one for three nights when Ryan had been born.

When the doctor left the room Kenn looked over at Lance again, she couldn't help it. He had changed somewhat from the last time she'd seen him, physically that was, but he still was the same emotional wreck he had been over a year ago. She figured she had the easier time putting it in the past since she had never seen him, the only reminder she had was looking at Ryan, but when her and that boy would be playing on the ground she'd forget all about what it had taken to create him. Then there was Lance that had stayed with Rachel, the one that he had cheated on, so Kennedy wondered if Rachel ever brought it up. She wondered if the two of them had ever talked about her, but she couldn't come right out and ask him that or she'd think she'd sound rude. "So, uh, what have you been up to?" She asked, trying to start a casual conversation trying to avoid anything that to deal with the two of them, together.

[lance warren wright]

Lance opened his mouth to answer some of her questions, but quickly shut it as the doctor came in. He stayed silent as he twiddle his thumbs and kept his head down. He should just get up and leave. He wouldn't have to stay and endure any tough conversation with Kennedy that was to come. Though he couldn't leave. He stole a glance of the girl and his feet stayed planted to the ground. Kennedy was the only girl that had had that effect on him. He shocked himself a bit by how persistent he was being in this matter when he could just walk away from it. He knew that would be the wrong move though. He couldn't walk away not now. He had come to far and he was planning on showing her he had changed. He was more mature now he could stick around this time.

He was glad to hear the doctor say she was okay. Though the bump on the back of her head was a nasty one. He knew she hadn't been ok the moment he had heard the thud on the ground. He smirked a bit to himself knowing he had been right. It faded though as he looked up at Kennedy once the doctor left. He wanted to move closer yet again he didn't dare. He was having a battle within himself and it was starting to drive him mad. He brought his feet up and shifted sideways so he could prop his back against the arm of the couch. He looked over at her as she began to speak to him.

He laughed lightly as she asked what he had been up to lately. So this is what they had resulted to? Petty conversation? "I've been wondering whether to call my wedding off or not actually. Not an easy decision let me tell you that." He put sarcastically as he got more comfortable on the couch. He placed his head now against the side of the couch closest to him. He struggled for more words as he knew what he had just said was a big thing. Here he was less than a month from having to say I do and he didn't think he could do it. He couldn't be in a relationship that was slowly becoming one sided. He couldn't lie to Rachel and make things worse. He sighed, "That's what i've been up to what about you?" He said looking over at her wondering what she could possibly come up with in comparison to that.

[stephanie michelle davis]

Marriage, him and Rachel getting married, that was something she had wished she could have forgotten about. She wished that maybe she imagined him saying that, maybe he had lied to her to get her going, and yet here he was talking about it again letting her know that it was in deed the truth, he was engaged to be married, and yet looking at his fingers showed no sign of a ring. "Where's the ring?" She said, she couldn't help but blurt it out at that moment, if she were going to get married she'd definitely been sporting a ring nonstop no matter what she was doing, but again she wasn't even in a relationship so that was out of the question. "I guess you have to do what you have to do," She couldn't help but be a bit happy inside though, Rachel had been a bitch to her so of course Kennedy wished the worst for her.

She looked away when he had asked her what she had been up to, she had to think of what she could tell him. "Nothing I guess, living the life of a single mother." She shrugged, that is all she had been doing during the past year and a half. "Working, taking care of a baby, oh and then there is taking some classes at the community college, nothing too fancy or anything." Her life had been so boring, she hadn't hung out with anyone, but that was because she didn't want to pressure her nanny into working longer hours than she already was to help Kennedy. The girl loved Kenn's son but still Kenn felt bad for taking her away just to watch him when Kenn had nothing to do, though she did so she could get away just to be alone for a while.

She let out a sigh as she watched him get comfortable on the couch, she couldn't believe he'd stay there that long with her, but then again she was wondering what would happen once she'd been discharged. "So how are we getting back to the hotel?" She asked knowing that neither of their vehicles were there. "I could probably get a ride from my aunt, but she'd have to wake Ryan up and that probably wouldn't be a good thing. I could call a cab too I guess to get back, you're free to go anytime." She said trying to sound as casual as she could.

[lance warren wright]

Lance shrugged his shoulders, "I don't like having it on when I work out." He said as he was always afraid he would lose it and he didn't want to have that conversation with Rachel if he did. He looked down at his finger where the indention of the ring wove around. He ran his thumb over it feeling it was a bit smoother than the rest of his skin. He looked up at her when she said he had to do what he had to do. He knew she didn't care about his relationship with Rachel in fact that was the last thing she probably wanted to listen to. He knew though she was probably happy to see him so unhappy. He had picked the wrong thing in his life and now he was regretting it. Rachel didn't deserve him not with what Lance had put her through. He run a hand over his face as he felt exhausted. His was ready to go to sleep and let his mind rest for once.

He listened to her as she simply said she was living the life of a single mother and felt a pain of guilt. He felt bad that she was having to do this on her own. It was his fault she couldn't go to school because he had been selfish. He was an idiot he had had a fifty fifty choice and he had taken the wrong path in his life. He shouldn't have gone back to Rachel cause he knew he was just going to cause her more pain now. If he had left her alone she wouldn't have to worry about a terrible guy that was just going to break her heart again. Lance knew he was going to try and get back in his son's life if Kennedy would let him....and try and get back in Kennedy's.

"I'll call a cab for you if you want." He was sure she probably didn't want to ride with him and take in even more awkwardness. He would just pay for her cab and call another one for himself. Though he felt like taking a walk and sorting out some things in his mind. He didn't know what he was going to do to get back to the hotel. When she told him he could go whenever he rolled his eyes, "I'm fine here. I'll leave if you want me to though." He said flipping the question on her because he didn't want to leave because he would be abandoning her once again.

[stephanie michelle davis]

She shrugged as she relaxed into the bed, the drugs were working really well now and she could barely feel anything. She didn't want to raise her voice so she motioned for him to come closer so she could just whisper in that relaxed hushed tone she used to use with him when they'd be close together. "Thought you said we needed to talk," She said softly making sure he was on his way over by the bed. There had been a chair nearby, he could pull it over if he'd wanted to, but she honestly didn't know if he'd even move from his position.

"Ryan is fine you know," She said looking over at him before closing her eyes again. "For someone that kept saying he'd made such a mistake, you never once asked how he was, or really where he was for that matter. You didn't wonder why i'd been at a hotel? Do you think I just randomly leave him with the nanny just to spend the night at random hotels?" Though that hotel had not been random at all, that hotel had been one of quite importance to the both of them. She had wondered if he had realized the floor they'd been staying on was the one where everything had happened, that night at the conference (or afterwards more importantly), but she was not going to bring that night up again. "He's doing great actually, healthy as a horse the doctor said at his well-visit. That is if you wanted to know."

She finally realized her purse wasn't with her, she had no money or identification or anything, and after noticing that she had to let out a real heavy sigh. Great, she was stuck far enough from her own home, and even farther from the hotel where some of her possessions were, and she had no money or anything. "Great, this is just great." She said, mumbling it mostly to herself knowing that she probably would have needed something, money at least, to get anywhere after leaving here. "I don't need a cab," She said after knowing she didn't have the money to pay for it. "I could probably walk or something," She had to actually, there was no doubt about it.

[lance warren wright]

He slowly moved from where he was sitting scared to move closer to her. He got up and pulled the chair closer to the bed so she didn't have to strain her voice. He took a seat and leaned forward and rested his elbows on the edge of the bed as he looked at her, "We do need to talk, but i'm not going to force you now since you've been drugged up a bit." He said using his trademark smirk for a second. He let it fall quickly from his lips as he realized that he wasn't supposed to feel comfortable in this situation. He listened to her as she went on about Ryan. He had wanted to ask about him, but he felt like he didn't have the right to. She had been talking about how he wasn't being fair by coming back this way and he knew part of it were true. So he felt like he would be wrong to ask questions about his on that he could have easily had known if he had just stuck around.

"Well it's not like I could just throw in hey how's Ryan doing? Because at the time all we were doing was arguing. I've thought about him almost every day that i've been gone. I don't want to say that though in case you accuse me of lying or something else. I don't want to argue with you Kennedy. I'm done with it. Tired actually. I want to try and be back in my son's life but that's only if you will allow it. If you don't want me back then that's the end of it I won't bother you anymore." There he had finally said it. He had finally laid down a final decision that was up to her. He wanted to be a part of his son's life now that he had seen the huge mistake he had made. He wanted to be that good father he had vowed to be ever since he had gotten away from his own father.

"And no you are not walking. Not after being drugged up and as tired as you are a good three mile walk isn't the best. I'll get you a cab and i'll ride with you if you want." He said offering to pay for the cab ride so she didn't have to worry about the expenses. He wanted to show Kennedy he was ready for this. He was ready to take on being a dad. He was done with running but he knew it couldn't be done just like that. He would have to prove himself to her. Prove that he could be a good dad and hopefully he could get back into her life. He had never stopped caring for Kennedy but his heart had been broken the day she said they could never be anything. That what they had done was just a fling even if it had resulted in her becoming pregnant. He couldn't deal with it back then so he had gone about the thing all wrong. Now he had grown up and was ready to face whatever was thrown his way.

[stephanie michelle davis]

"If you thought about him so much why didn't you just call once in a while? Rachel have you that locked up that you couldn't get away for a few minutes to see what was going on?" She asked with a slight sigh. She knew Rachel had wanted her to stay away from Lance, she had made that clear just the other day, and here he was with his elbows right on her beg close to her legs. She definitely wasn't obeying Rachel's wishes, but at that moment she didn't care too much. "A phonecall really wouldn't have hurt would it? I don't see where she could get so pissed, it's as though she wanted to take you away from him. She wanted to bring you far enough away to forget about him, forget about me, and that just isn't acceptable." Did she just add that about her? Here she was talking about her son and she had to throw herself in there too, but she was disappointed when she'd found out he had left. Especially when she had heard that he had left with Rachel, that much pissed her off more than anything.

"Are you giving me an ultimatum?" She asked looking over at him in almost utter shock. She shook her head unable to muster up words at the moment, she couldn't believe he was sitting there doing that to her after everything. "I can't just say i'm going to let you back into our lives," Again she had used the word 'our' instead of what she should have used which was just 'his', but she'd deny it next time they'd spoke saying that it was because of the drugs, even though she knew all too well it was the truth and was coming from her heart. "You were gone so long, I can't just let you walk right back in like nothing had happened." She closed her eyes again not knowing what to do at this moment, she didn't want him to leave her alone again, but she was afraid to let him back into both her and her sons life. What if she had started to have those strong feelings for him again? What would that do to their relationship? "I just can't do that to Ryan, or myself for that matter." She was finally speaking from her heart, something that she hadn't done from the beginning of their conversation, and she made sure he knew that by looking at him with those big bright gorgeous blue eyes of hers.

"What do you want?" She asked, serious as ever and not talking about just the cab ride, but it had fit into the conversation rather well. She had heard him say so many things throughout the entire night, but it seemed like he'd went around in circles with her the entire time. These drugs must have been nice, Kenn was able to speak her mind, and she'd have a good 'out' by saying the drugs had effected what she had said. "I'm serious, I want to know right here right now what it is you want. No more paddling around the truth, Lance." She knew she'd remember what he'd say, she just hoped it wasn't something too bad that she'd be upset by afterwards.

[lance warren wright]

"I know...I should have called. I just always put it off being stupid as usual." He said beating himself up about his mistake. "I always had thought it was wrong to Rachel, but i'm regretting my decisions now and I want to make it right." He said looking up at her big blue eyes that were shining. They were gorgeous they had been what had caught his attention back in the day. Her amazing personality and body had helped though as well. He was just so attracted to her it drove him crazy. "I should have called. Hell I shouldn't have moved to New York. I had something huge that I just up and left without thinking of the consequences. I was naive and stupid. I was also afraid of you. I had disappointed you by leaving without a word. That wasn't how I should have acted. I should have been strong for you. It's not like you needed me, but I would have been there for you if I hadn't been dumb and made the decision I had made." He said lowering his eyes down to the bed.

"And i'm not expecting you to." He said letting her know he knew it wasn't going to be busy. He knew he would have to prove himself. He would have to give her time to let him ease himself into their lives. "I don't expect you to be like oh he said sorry i'll forgive him. I know i'm going to have to work hard and show i'm committed to you and Ryan." He said letting himself slipping Kennedy into the conversations without skipping a beat. He wanted to reach out to her and caress her cheek but knew that would be crossing the line. He leaned back in his seat removing his elbows from the bed and sighing. This whole conversation was finally what he wanted it to be. It wasn't an argument it was serious talk about his chances of getting back in his son's life.

What did he want? He finally had to come out with it. He had to let her know what he had come to her to talk about. "I want to be that father I have always vowed to myself to be. To be that awesome dad that their son was proud of." He said looking up at the ceiling knowing this statement hit home with him. He felt tears well up and took a deep breath to get them to go away. He finally looked back down at her blue eyes and his voice cracked as he started the next sentence, "I want to be around to watch my son grow up and hopefully have his mom happy to see me again instead of cringing at the sight of me. Or fearing the sight of me. I want to finally be happy again and i'm pretty sure this is the only way for me to achieve that." He felt one tear roll down but he hid his face quickly to wipe it away and play it off. He didn't want sympathy but he kept thinking of his dad. He had wished he could have been the man that Lance could have been proud of. "That's what I want." He said firmly as he looked at those gorgeous blue eyes and got lost in them.

[stephanie michelle davis]

She let out another soft sigh, that seemed to be what she was good at doing tonight, as she listened to him talk about what 'he should have done'. "You should have done a lot of things but you didn't." She said simply not wanting to get her temper up, she knew that if that had happened it'd raise her blood pressure and the doctors might want to keep her there overnight, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. She had no idea what she'd do once she got back to the hotel room, she wouldn't want to be alone so maybe she'd check out for the night and go to her aunts, but then that would bring up questions and Kennedy didn't want to answer them. She had already lied to her aunt one time tonight, something she hated doing, so she didn't want to have to do it again. She could ask Lance, he seemed like he wanted to stay, but she knew that'd be too weird for the both of them falling asleep in the same room. Even being awake right here next to him was weird for her, but she hoped with time she'd calm herself back down around him and things could return to normal, or at least as normal as things could be between them considering their history.

"And how do you expect to do that?" She asked him keeping her head turned so she could see him better. "How do you expect to prove you're ready to be back in our lives when your fiancee-" That word had been hard for Kennedy to say, still it wasn't sinking in that he had been engaged to get married. She didn't think he could do it, and she wondered whether it had been him asking her to marry him, or had she been the one that had popped the question? Normally it was the man, but from the way he'd been acting tonight she couldn't understand why he'd ask to make such a commitment if he wasn't into marrying her in the first place. "I just, she talked to me the other day, she pretty much made it clear she wanted you to have nothing to do with me, so i'm sure she would not be thrilled to hear what you're talking to me about right now. The last thing I want is to be in anymore drama, i'm done with that part of my life, I can assure you that much."

"And then what happens when you walk out again?" She couldn't help but bring that up, she knew that everyone she cared about always seemed to leave, and sure he'd been saying he'd be there now, but who was to say he'd talk to Rachel and the two would run off together again once she had her finger wrapped around him like usual. "You haven't been there for so long, you have no idea what is going on in his life, you don't know his usual quirks and annoyances. How do you honestly think you'd be able to handle him?" She was being as serious as possible right now, she knew that Ryan was a great kid and all, but the small things about him were hard to pick up on right away, and she knew that if he had done anything wrong Ryan might not let him in so easily.

"I don't fear you," She said getting that out in the open. "I fear what we have done, what we could do given the chance, don't tell me i'm the only one that sees what could happen." Could she honestly be talking about this right now? She had to, she was calm and collected and the pills were keeping her that way, so she knew that this had been the best time to do so. Once they were back in the privacy of the hotel room, or anywhere that was private, she didn't know if she'd start hollering at him again, but for now she just tried to stay as much under control as she could.

[lance warren wright]

Lance nodded in agreement, "I know I should have done a lot of things. Even a phone call would have helped this situation I see that now. You have to understand, and I know it's hard for you to completely believe me since I did just up and leave you with nothing said, that I have grown up. I have matured. I see what i've done wrong in my life and I want to fix it....no....I have to fix it." He said firmer at his last sentence. He had to make things right because that was the only way he could prove to himself and to Kennedy that he was ready for this big commitment. His leg started to bounce up and down as he sat there thinking about everything. His mind was on hyper drive and questions were shooting up here and there and he was trying to calm his mind as he talked to Kennedy. "I want to be that guy that you had fallen for no matter how wrong it had been at the time. I want to be that dad that you brag about to everyone. I want to be the guy my son will come to when he grows up and can talk to me about everything." He said smiling a bit thinking about Ryan.

"I know though that this will take time. I know that getting into his life will not be an easy thing." He said reassuring Kennedy that he knew he couldn't smile and put on the charm and expect things to just happen. He would give her the commitment level she needs and he will try and be there for his son. When Kennedy brought up Rachel he let out a huge breath of air. He placed his hands over his eyes as he applied to pressure to them. He then lowered them and leaned forward again resting his elbows on the bed. He traced patterns in the white sheets as he thought about this situation he had put himself in. "Fiancee....that's even hard for me to hear now. That's not how it should be...." he said more to himself. He shouldn't be doubting his marriage this much this close. He knew he would have to tell Rachel that he couldn't do it. He couldn't continue in a one sided relationship. As she continued to speak about how Rachel seemed like she didn't want anything to do with Kennedy and she was right. Rachel had even asked Lance to not even go near her alone.

"I don't care anymore honestly....if she truly loved me she wouldn't be able to ask me to stay away from you and our son." He said feeling bad for saying our son but that's how it was. "Well...your son...but hopefully soon I can say our son and you won't mind." He said smiling a bit as he looked up at her for a moment. Then his face went serious again as he looked back down at the sheets. "And I don't want drama brought in on you either trust me. I'm done with the high school antics. I'll talk to Rachel." He said his words so genuine as he made this promise to her. He shook his head as she said what happens when he walks out again, "I'm not going to. I give you my word even if it doesn't mean much to you i'm not going anywhere." He said looking up at her with seriousness written all over his face, "You may not be able to believe that right now but I will prove it to you not matter how long that takes." He said assuring her in any way possible.

"I haven't been in his life you are right, but I am willing to learn. I'm willing to get to know him even if I only get to see him an hour a day or less. I'm willing to try and see if he is accepting of me. I want to gain his acceptance and I want him to trust me. I don't care how long that takes." He said knowing it was true. It could take months for Ryan to be okay with Lance and he didn't care. The longer possibly the better. This way Kennedy could see he was for real. He was willing to make this work.

He nodded again as Kennedy addressed the thing he had been thinking about the ride over to the hospital. "I do see the things that could happen. However, I can restrain myself this time. If something happens between us I only hope it will happen later down the road. If there is a later down the road if Ryan wants there to be a later down the road...if you want there to be a later down the road." He said adding in all the possibilities, "I don't want myself to just jump right in and be oh ok everything is ok between Kennedy and I because I know it's not. I have to gain back your trust just as much as I do Ryan." He said knowing things worked both ways. He had to gain Kennedy's acceptance as much as he had to gain Ryan's.

[stephanie michelle davis]

"You have matured?" She had to laugh at that comment shaking her head before looking back at him. "You're still the same you've always been. You asked her to marry you-" she had said that in hopes of finding out if he had actually done the asking, or if rachel had in fact been the one to pull it off. "You want her to be your wife, or you wanted considering now you're talking about not being happy anymore. This is the same conversation we have every single time, Lance. It doesn't change, you say and do one thing, and then as soon as you're alone with me you say something completely different. You haven't changed from what I can see," She said slowly before hearing his next comment. He'd wanted to be the man she had fallen for before? "I don't think that is such a good idea," She whispered looking away from him now with a hint of sadness in her voice. She had felt strongly for Lance back then, but so many things had changed and she wasn't sure she could go right back to what she had felt before, or even if it was the right thing to do in their situation. "And the father I want to brag to people about would be the one that had been there from day one, not finally coming around already into the eighteenth month. That is definitely not something to brag about..." She let her last few words trail off as her mind was swarming with all these thoughts and feelings that the two had brought up during the entire night, which in reality hadn't been as long as it'd felt like.

She listened to him speak after she'd brought up Rachel, and couldn't believe what she had been hearing. What did he mean it wasn't how it was supposed to be? Curiousity got the best of her as she couldn't help but blurt out "How is it supposed to be, Lance?" She had to keep saying his name almost so she wouldn't forget that this was happening, if she had said his name and he had replied she'd know this was real and not some sort of vivid messed up dream. "Once people are engaged they're supposed to be happy, you don't even ask someone to take your hand in marriage if you're not ready to fully commit to them, that was just stupid of you." She could feel herself starting to get heated up, something about talking to him about Rachel and his relationship just made her extremely mad, so she took a few moments for herself so she could deepen her breathing to try to relax. After a few moments she felt as though she'd calmed back down, and she could continue the conversation. She wanted to get out of there tonight and Lance wasn't going to be the one that'd make it so she had to stay, that just wasn't going to happen.

Kennedy sat up just slightly resting on her elbow so she could face him better when he'd brought up the fact about their son. "Had she asked you to stay away before Lance?" She asked slowly and carefully wanting to make sure she got the question out just right. If that were the case Rachel would have to worry about meeting up with Kennedy again, she wouldn't take too kindly to some woman telling the father of Kenn's son that he had to stay away from him. "Did she purposely keep you from him?" She said it again, rephrasing it so he completely understood the question. "You shouldn't have to talk to her, it sounds as though you need her permission to do what you need to do. Ryan shouldn't need to wait for Rachel's permission, this is the sort of thing i'm talking about Lance, you want to be in his life and yet you have to go through Rachel." She let out another sigh letting her top half fall back against the bed and pillow as she closed her eyes wanting to cry right now, she'd been so upset but she'd held herself up strong for this encounter. She knew that the second she'd been away from him she'd start crying for sure, that much was obvious, but she just didn't want to show any emotion like that infront of him right now.

She listened to him talk about wanting to spend all that time with their child, and she couldn't help but feel happy about it inside, but she didn't show that happiness at all on the outside. She didn't want him to know that he'd been breaking her, making her think that it'd be a good idea, she wanted him to think that she was still very skeptical. "It's going to take some time," She said simply with a slight shrug. "I don't know how long it'd take for him to realize you're his father, he's only had a mother in his life so maybe that's all he thinks there is?" She had read him so many books about babies and their mothers, but fathers never seemed to be around in any of the stories. Maybe the men had left the women in the fairytales too, or at least the ones that Kennedy reads aloud to her son everynight before he goes to bed. "He might like having someone in his life though around the time when he can start dribbling a ball," Kenn had kept his room up the same way Lance had seen it when Ryan was only six months old, all decked out in basketball prints and posters. "I just don't know when i'd be ready to let you see him, it's not going to happen soon, I can assure you that much."

"No,'' she said quick looking over at him sitting up slowly again not wanting to get another dizzy spell. "Nothing can happen with us, not now or ever." She said, not believing her words but she knew she had to say that to him right now. She had to make him think she didn't want anything, no matter how much she did, she couldn't let him win tonight and go to bed knowing he'd gotten under Kennedy's skin again. She had stayed strong this entire time with him since at the hotel, she could not show any sign of weakness right now or her entire night wouldn't have been worth anything. "I just hope you know since he's a baby it'd probably be easy to get back into his life, but for me it's going to take quite some time. Time that i'm not even sure you're willing to commit to." She said with a slight sigh as she rested her body back down on the bed again. She took the gingerale that'd been sitting next to her and took another drink emptying the can, and handing it to Lance to put in the recycle bin on the other end of the room. "Thank you for that, sure needed it." She said quietly closing her eyes envisioning herself anywhere else but here right now.